Day 78: Banana Dilemma

I got ruined on bananas quite accidentally when I was 17. Until then, I'd been happily chugging along eating bananas from the A&P, just like every other American kid. I thought they were fine. I used to make banana milkshakes a lot, and slice bananas into cereal, and put strips on peanut butter sandwiches. I played "telephone" with them and did magic tricks where I'd use a pin to slice them on the inside without peeling them. Bananas were my friend. Then, one day it all changed.

My parents took me on vacation to the Dominican Republic where I tried my first tree-ripened banana. It was something out of this world - so "banana" flavored, I remember thinking! The flesh was a golden yellow, with a juicy, glossy texture - not chalky like the bananas back home. The resort we were staying at would actually press the fruit and offer banana nectar shots at breakfast. It was a banana revelation.

When I returned home from the Dominican Republic, it was hard to embrace those Chiquita poseurs I found bunched up in the grocery store. I knew the pleasure of their tropical cousins. "Ersatz" was all I could think... and I was turned off.

Then when I was about 28 I tried the Atkins diet, along with my entire office, and learned quickly that bananas were to be avoided at all costs! They were Nature's most evil carb, packed with poisons that would prevent your body from going into ketosis (starvation). My conversion to the Atkins way of thinking was swift and longstanding. Every time I've eaten a banana in the last decade, I would say it's been because there was absolutely no acceptable alternative for eating. Usually, this would mean at an airport, or hotel buffet. Bananas, in my mind, were just barely a notch above cheese danish.

Now that I'm running, all I hear about it seems is bananas, bananas, bananas. They've got potassium. They prevent cramping. Put one in each shoe and you'll run faster. Do bananas have a crackerjack PR team working for them? Have they signed a secret partnership with Nike? For a white, tasteless, 100 calorie, imported item, they're just a little bit too ubiquitous! Last I checked, they were still dry, flavorless carb sticks. What's going on? Did you know, they even give them out at the end of races with the gift bags. Bananas are SWAG!

I decided to do a little bit of research on the banana, to get to the bottom of my banana dilemma. I bought a bunch and started trying to eat them, to see if they'd do anything for me. It was hard. At first, I'd manage just a quarter, then a half... Gag me! Sometimes, I'd walk around my apt with the banana in hand, nibbling as often as I could remember, just trying to get through the whole thing; but inevitably I'd get distracted, put the half-eaten fruit down someplace and forget about it. Days later, I'd find the black, rotting bit in the bathroom, or on my nightstand. They sure smell a lot nicer when they're rotting then they do when they're fresh. Quite banana-rific.

I also tried to appeal to myself with empirical support. Seems bananas are in fact above average sources of potassium and a few other minerals and vitamins - but nothing so totally outstanding. Every explanation of why bananas are so great seems to focus on their portability, or "packaging," as my marketing ear would hear it.

Since I don't really get anything about running intuitively, I've decided to just try to have faith in bananas, and embrace the trend. This morning I had a banana flavored pancake! No real bananas in there I'm sure, but it was on topic. Yesterday I bought 5 fresh bananas and managed to down one tonight while I've been writing this. I aspire to eat another banana tomorrow after I run 7 miles! Maybe even two! I hope in time that the joys of banana consumption, and the banana's great running enhancement powers, will be revealed to me.