It's meat night! In two days, I'll run my next half marathon, the Disney Wine & Dine in Orlando, Florida.
I've decided to eat some red meat a few days before races. I can't say exactly why this feels 100% correct for me, but, it does. The rest of my diet this week has been very high carb, mostly vegetables, grains, some pasta, and protein from fish and tofu. I'm also drinking a lot of water, sports drinks, and eating salty foods, like potato chips. I can't even remember the last time I bought a bag of potato chips to keep at home. 1995? Seriously!
Now I need to go pack for my first out of town race! So excited... laying everything out... feeling sure I've forgotten something!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
38: 5M PR (53:39/10:44 Pace)
I am confused. I just ran faster than I've ever run. In new shoes. Without dinner. And with an injury. Maybe running 18 miles just changes you?
I ran 2 miles straight and then took a one minute walk break, ran another 2, walked a minute, and then cranked up the speed. My right foot hurt after the second mile but I ignored it, watched TV, and formed a silent competition with the amazon height Annie Lennox pixie haired flat chested runner girl man next to me. She was running at 6 mph and barely looked like she was lifting her feet. She was fucking strolling while I turned red and looked like a tomato basted up and bursting under the broiler. I caught her look at my monitor a few times. Yeah, little girl can go as fast as you, man-lady! So, back off!
My previous PR for any race 3 miles or over was a pace of 10:55, and that was a 4 miler last winter. That's my fastest time on record with the NYRR. My best 5M pace on record was on June 20th, on Father's Day, when I ran an 11:05 pace. Of course, tonight I was running on the treadmill, not in the hilly Park, but still. This is a good sign. A very good sign.
I'm back to (b)asics with the new model of Asics I rejected over the weekend. The Brooks, as it turned out, are indeed strap-on crackers and I'm sorry I wasted my own time thinking I could (or should) change something as critical as my SHOES a month before the marathon.
Anyway, I went to Jack Rabbit to exchange them, but they were out of the Asics I need - I wear a weird size. They called around - none of the other stores had them either so they let me actually return them for a refund, which was nice. I tried Run, Foot Locker, and then finally Paragon had what I was looking for. With a new pair of Spenco RX Comfort Insoles (which I SWEAR by) and a swap out to 54" custom laces, which let me do that neat little hold your heel back trick, I was good to go... and the results speak for themselves. Mommy's making progress!
I ran 2 miles straight and then took a one minute walk break, ran another 2, walked a minute, and then cranked up the speed. My right foot hurt after the second mile but I ignored it, watched TV, and formed a silent competition with the amazon height Annie Lennox pixie haired flat chested runner girl man next to me. She was running at 6 mph and barely looked like she was lifting her feet. She was fucking strolling while I turned red and looked like a tomato basted up and bursting under the broiler. I caught her look at my monitor a few times. Yeah, little girl can go as fast as you, man-lady! So, back off!
My previous PR for any race 3 miles or over was a pace of 10:55, and that was a 4 miler last winter. That's my fastest time on record with the NYRR. My best 5M pace on record was on June 20th, on Father's Day, when I ran an 11:05 pace. Of course, tonight I was running on the treadmill, not in the hilly Park, but still. This is a good sign. A very good sign.
I'm back to (b)asics with the new model of Asics I rejected over the weekend. The Brooks, as it turned out, are indeed strap-on crackers and I'm sorry I wasted my own time thinking I could (or should) change something as critical as my SHOES a month before the marathon.
Anyway, I went to Jack Rabbit to exchange them, but they were out of the Asics I need - I wear a weird size. They called around - none of the other stores had them either so they let me actually return them for a refund, which was nice. I tried Run, Foot Locker, and then finally Paragon had what I was looking for. With a new pair of Spenco RX Comfort Insoles (which I SWEAR by) and a swap out to 54" custom laces, which let me do that neat little hold your heel back trick, I was good to go... and the results speak for themselves. Mommy's making progress!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
39: Men vs. Women
I was lucky to get in off the wait list to a special seminar given tonight by the Hospital for Special Surgery on what to expect in your last month of training before the marathon. I'm totally inspired right now. I am going for it!
The panel provided tons of information and literally all my questions were answered and more. Here are some of the nuggets:
- First timers should only do one 20 mile run (your longest) before the marathon and you should do it exactly 3 weeks before the race date.
- Carbohydrate loading isn't about eating more carbs, it's about not reducing the amount of carbs you should already be eating, while you train, when you taper down over the last two weeks and reduce your exercising. Expect to gain weight!
- Iron supplements. Despite what the nice lady at Road Runner Sports in Paramus told me, I should not be taking iron supplements before a race. A multi-vitamin is fine, and then a proper runner's diet.
- Expect to feel mysterious aches and pains in the week before the marathon. They don't know why this happens, but it does, so don't be worried.
- Don't consume both GU and Gatorade at the same time at the race. Alternate between GU and water and/or Gatorade alone. Otherwise you could give yourself too many sugars and electrolytes to metabolize at once and you'll feel nauseous and light headed.
- Everybody sweats differently. Some people sweat out a ton of salt (me) and get a white film on their skin (me) or clothes when they run. These people need to consume salt before and during the race. The whole "low sodium" movement is, for the most part, propaganda.
- Bloody nipples. They only happen to men. They didn't say why and I wasn't going to ask. You just put a Band-Aid across each one and you're good to go.
- Double layer socks (like Wright Socks, I'm assuming) are the best for preventing blisters on your toes.
- Running on your toes (like I do) and taking short fast strides (like I do) is the new wave in running. 90 strides per minute is a good goal to strive for. People who run like this have fewer injuries. Biking can help you cross train for short, strong strides and rapid cadence.
- To stretch or not to stretch is a personal choice. The medical community is divided. What's more important is strength training, which everyone agrees reduces your need to stretch and helps prevent injuries. (That's why triathletes suffer fewer injuries than runners when they're training, despite logging more training hours; they're cross training and building more strength.) And squats are the single best strength training exercises you can do because they strengthen the glutes and that, in turn, strengthens your core and protects your hips.
- Do not run with a baby jogger! It forces you to run upright. The new thinking on angle is that you should run slightly bent forward, which is why all the newer sneakers have heels in them, to prop you up. (I'm going back to my Asics, by the way. Brooks are too flat. It didn't take long for me to feel quite uncomfortable in them.)
- The ice bath is lauded as the very best way to begin recovering after a long run. It reaches all kinds of crevices. Good news is, I did it the hard way, icing the water and then dropping down in it. The better way to go is to add the ice after you sit. And you only have to stay in it for 15 minutes, and you can wear a hat and drink hot liquids. And then you follow it 30 minutes later with a hot shower. Ahhh... I'm already dreaming of my next ice bath! Oh, and ice in general is amazing. Anything hurts? Just ice it.
- The foam roller can and should be used as often as possible. Muscles get sticky and mush together when you're working out a lot. The roller helps to keep them rolling and separate.
- Massage is great 48 hours after the marathon, and as often as one can afford it after training runs leading up to the marathon.
- Antioxidants after the marathon are critical; but for some medically unexplained reason, they must come from real foods, not pills, and it's best to consume them (and all food) in small amounts every 2 hours for a few days after the marathon. "Antioxidants" includes chocolate, by the way!
And my favorite...
- Men and women handle pain completely differently when they are running. If a man is in pain, or isn't having fun, he says, "Oh well, I'm done running for the day," and he quits. When a woman is in pain, she runs through it no matter what, and ends up going to the doctor the next day when the pain isn't gone. When the doctor asks her why she kept going the female runner will always reply, pointing to her sheet of paper that she's brought in, "Because it says right here on my schedule that I was supposed to run 15 miles." All the women in the room started laughing when the doctor gave his punch line, and the men just sat there staring blankly, judging.
I'm not saying that women are better, but let's just say, there'd be a whole lot of dirty laundry and unwashed dishes left undone in the world if women acted the way men do when things get a little bit hard! ...Here's to getting psyched for two half marathons, a 20 mile run on October 17th, and the marathon on November 7th. And you might wonder, how do I know I'm going to do it all? Well, obviously, because it's on my schedule, dude!
The panel provided tons of information and literally all my questions were answered and more. Here are some of the nuggets:
- First timers should only do one 20 mile run (your longest) before the marathon and you should do it exactly 3 weeks before the race date.
- Carbohydrate loading isn't about eating more carbs, it's about not reducing the amount of carbs you should already be eating, while you train, when you taper down over the last two weeks and reduce your exercising. Expect to gain weight!
- Iron supplements. Despite what the nice lady at Road Runner Sports in Paramus told me, I should not be taking iron supplements before a race. A multi-vitamin is fine, and then a proper runner's diet.
- Expect to feel mysterious aches and pains in the week before the marathon. They don't know why this happens, but it does, so don't be worried.
- Don't consume both GU and Gatorade at the same time at the race. Alternate between GU and water and/or Gatorade alone. Otherwise you could give yourself too many sugars and electrolytes to metabolize at once and you'll feel nauseous and light headed.
- Everybody sweats differently. Some people sweat out a ton of salt (me) and get a white film on their skin (me) or clothes when they run. These people need to consume salt before and during the race. The whole "low sodium" movement is, for the most part, propaganda.
- Bloody nipples. They only happen to men. They didn't say why and I wasn't going to ask. You just put a Band-Aid across each one and you're good to go.
- Double layer socks (like Wright Socks, I'm assuming) are the best for preventing blisters on your toes.
- Running on your toes (like I do) and taking short fast strides (like I do) is the new wave in running. 90 strides per minute is a good goal to strive for. People who run like this have fewer injuries. Biking can help you cross train for short, strong strides and rapid cadence.
- To stretch or not to stretch is a personal choice. The medical community is divided. What's more important is strength training, which everyone agrees reduces your need to stretch and helps prevent injuries. (That's why triathletes suffer fewer injuries than runners when they're training, despite logging more training hours; they're cross training and building more strength.) And squats are the single best strength training exercises you can do because they strengthen the glutes and that, in turn, strengthens your core and protects your hips.
- Do not run with a baby jogger! It forces you to run upright. The new thinking on angle is that you should run slightly bent forward, which is why all the newer sneakers have heels in them, to prop you up. (I'm going back to my Asics, by the way. Brooks are too flat. It didn't take long for me to feel quite uncomfortable in them.)
- The ice bath is lauded as the very best way to begin recovering after a long run. It reaches all kinds of crevices. Good news is, I did it the hard way, icing the water and then dropping down in it. The better way to go is to add the ice after you sit. And you only have to stay in it for 15 minutes, and you can wear a hat and drink hot liquids. And then you follow it 30 minutes later with a hot shower. Ahhh... I'm already dreaming of my next ice bath! Oh, and ice in general is amazing. Anything hurts? Just ice it.
- The foam roller can and should be used as often as possible. Muscles get sticky and mush together when you're working out a lot. The roller helps to keep them rolling and separate.
- Massage is great 48 hours after the marathon, and as often as one can afford it after training runs leading up to the marathon.
- Antioxidants after the marathon are critical; but for some medically unexplained reason, they must come from real foods, not pills, and it's best to consume them (and all food) in small amounts every 2 hours for a few days after the marathon. "Antioxidants" includes chocolate, by the way!
And my favorite...
- Men and women handle pain completely differently when they are running. If a man is in pain, or isn't having fun, he says, "Oh well, I'm done running for the day," and he quits. When a woman is in pain, she runs through it no matter what, and ends up going to the doctor the next day when the pain isn't gone. When the doctor asks her why she kept going the female runner will always reply, pointing to her sheet of paper that she's brought in, "Because it says right here on my schedule that I was supposed to run 15 miles." All the women in the room started laughing when the doctor gave his punch line, and the men just sat there staring blankly, judging.
I'm not saying that women are better, but let's just say, there'd be a whole lot of dirty laundry and unwashed dishes left undone in the world if women acted the way men do when things get a little bit hard! ...Here's to getting psyched for two half marathons, a 20 mile run on October 17th, and the marathon on November 7th. And you might wonder, how do I know I'm going to do it all? Well, obviously, because it's on my schedule, dude!
Monday, September 27, 2010
40: Under the Weather
I am still a little bit under the weather today. I also had several vials of blood taken for a work screening. I don't do well with blood samples. I nearly passed out. And then on top of that, I had flu and H1N1 inoculations. Poor little Michelle had a rough day.
I went to the gym anyway this evening hoping to put in a 5 mile run. That didn't quite turn out as I'd planned. I couldn't even finish a mile before I felt like I would collapse. If it had been the marathon, I would have kept going; but it wasn't, so I stopped.
The Brooks shoes felt awful. My feet were dragging and I missed the spring in my Asics. Maybe Brooks aren't my marathon shoes after all. I'll have to give them another shot this week before I make a final decision. Right now, feeling like I hate to run. Or maybe, I just hate Mondays.
I went to the gym anyway this evening hoping to put in a 5 mile run. That didn't quite turn out as I'd planned. I couldn't even finish a mile before I felt like I would collapse. If it had been the marathon, I would have kept going; but it wasn't, so I stopped.
The Brooks shoes felt awful. My feet were dragging and I missed the spring in my Asics. Maybe Brooks aren't my marathon shoes after all. I'll have to give them another shot this week before I make a final decision. Right now, feeling like I hate to run. Or maybe, I just hate Mondays.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
41: Meet My iPod, Fritz
My little orange friend has failed. Truth be told, she's been fritzy from the beginning, turning on for no reason, refusing to pause or resume at races, and dying out in an hour despite a full night's charge. I haven't brought her back because, well, I just assumed I was the one doing something wrong.
I suited up to run 10 miles this morning, only to find the iPod just wouldn't turn on. I went to Apple online and tried to sign up for a spot with the Genius Bar but there wasn't a single one available today in the city; so I decided to just go to the store - and beg.
Guess I'm not the only person who's done that because they actually have a no begging policy. I remained super cheerful, offering to stand there waiting, in my running clothes, looking very much unshowered... Or, I could just buy a new iPod, use it today, and then return it when they could help me... They told me they have a 10% restocking fee. Oh, no problem, I can just go over to Best Buy and purchase one there because they don't have a restocking fee... Finally they got the point. I wasn't going to leave.
Someone went in the back and made a call. An appointment at 4:20 PM magically opened at a different location across town. If I wanted it, it was mine. Ahh... an audience with a real live genius! Too good to be true.
When I finally saw his honorable self, he was dreamy. Well, initially he was dreamy; and then he seemed incompetent. My genius took my iPod in his hand, pushed it some magical way, shot a pocket flashlight up its little receptor, and pronounced it sick. There was a new battery in stock that it needed; the exchange was covered under warranty. I signed some papers. We were done.
"Wait!" I said as my genius started to walk to the back. I'd just tried pressing the on button, and it didn't work. "Is it me?" I said, holding it out for him to see the familiar darkness... "It doesn't like me."
The genius grabbed my iPod back, scrunched up his brow, took it to the back, did some tests, and finally, pronounced it completely dead. Out came a refurbished replacement and I had to sign a whole new set of papers. I felt a little bit like I was adopting a pet.
So I didn't get a run in today - at all. Truth be told, I'm coming down with a cold or something. I've felt sick since yesterday morning. I did intenSati in the Park and couldn't stop sweating all day afterwards. Woke up the same way today and while mentally I was ready to go running when I put on my shoes this morning, I'm sort of glad I didn't go. I'm still exhausted from running 18 miles last week. My legs are only now starting to feel like their old selves. I can only imagine now what I'll feel like after the marathon. I'd better clear my calendar. It's going to be heavy!
I suited up to run 10 miles this morning, only to find the iPod just wouldn't turn on. I went to Apple online and tried to sign up for a spot with the Genius Bar but there wasn't a single one available today in the city; so I decided to just go to the store - and beg.
Guess I'm not the only person who's done that because they actually have a no begging policy. I remained super cheerful, offering to stand there waiting, in my running clothes, looking very much unshowered... Or, I could just buy a new iPod, use it today, and then return it when they could help me... They told me they have a 10% restocking fee. Oh, no problem, I can just go over to Best Buy and purchase one there because they don't have a restocking fee... Finally they got the point. I wasn't going to leave.
Someone went in the back and made a call. An appointment at 4:20 PM magically opened at a different location across town. If I wanted it, it was mine. Ahh... an audience with a real live genius! Too good to be true.
When I finally saw his honorable self, he was dreamy. Well, initially he was dreamy; and then he seemed incompetent. My genius took my iPod in his hand, pushed it some magical way, shot a pocket flashlight up its little receptor, and pronounced it sick. There was a new battery in stock that it needed; the exchange was covered under warranty. I signed some papers. We were done.
"Wait!" I said as my genius started to walk to the back. I'd just tried pressing the on button, and it didn't work. "Is it me?" I said, holding it out for him to see the familiar darkness... "It doesn't like me."
The genius grabbed my iPod back, scrunched up his brow, took it to the back, did some tests, and finally, pronounced it completely dead. Out came a refurbished replacement and I had to sign a whole new set of papers. I felt a little bit like I was adopting a pet.
So I didn't get a run in today - at all. Truth be told, I'm coming down with a cold or something. I've felt sick since yesterday morning. I did intenSati in the Park and couldn't stop sweating all day afterwards. Woke up the same way today and while mentally I was ready to go running when I put on my shoes this morning, I'm sort of glad I didn't go. I'm still exhausted from running 18 miles last week. My legs are only now starting to feel like their old selves. I can only imagine now what I'll feel like after the marathon. I'd better clear my calendar. It's going to be heavy!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
42: Marathon Shoes
I think the last time I tried on a pair of Brooks my impression was: feels like strap-on crackers. Dismissed! I've never looked back; but today I set out to find my marathon shoes, so I can start breaking them in, and I decided to keep an open mind.
I went to Jack Rabbit, where I get a nice discount and they never seem to be working on commission, though they probably are. It was busy so I just told the assistant to bring me my size in the new version of the same style of Asics I've been wearing. "Yes, time for a new pair!" the guy said sarcastically raising an eyebrow at my filthy shoes. So what! I've been out running all over the place. Give me a break!
I took the pair for a spin on the treadmill, just to make sure the fit hadn't changed, but it had. My heel popped out. We re-laced and I tried again. Same thing. I was anxious to get out of the store so I considered just taking the shoes and making the best of it but then I imagined my heel popping out of my shoe for 26.2 miles and...
We sat down and discussed what I'd liked about my old Asics. Cushion, elevated heel, wide toe box... but I said I was willing to try something else. The guy was hesitant to let me move away from cushion considering my injury. He seemed stumped. I saw him go talk to one of the other associates and then he disappeared to the back.
When he returned, he pulled out a pair of low tech looking shoes. I'm past caring what color my shoes are (since they get covered with mud anyway after about two runs!) but these didn't even try to be pretty. Grey with blue and some kind of purple inverted Nike swoosh. "What brand is that?" I asked. My stomach sank as his lips formed the word, "Brooks." I half heartedly agreed to put one shoe on, only on the left foot. I took myself to the treadmill, with the Asics shoe still on my right foot, and ran.
Have you ever run in two radically different shoes? Kind of like dating a nice guy and a jerk in the same week. Instant depositioning where previously there might have been some interest. Bizarre!
As flat and un-cushioned as the Brooks was... as low to the ground... as long and narrow... the Brooks just felt more like shoes I'd want to keep running in. They were less cumbersome. I kind of liked that there wasn't so much cushion. I don't know if I'll feel the same way over a longer distance so, with the store's "satisfaction guaranteed" 2 week return policy, I'm giving them a 5 mile test run. If they aren't what I want, Jack Rabbit will let me exchange them. How do they stay in business with such kindness?
I've got my Brooks on right now, just getting used to how it feels to be wearing a running shoe that's so low and flatter footed. Using new information to reconsider something formerly dismissed is one of the greatest joys a person could know. It means there's no end to what I might discover in life. There are no dead ends, and no rabbit holes. Well, only the good kind.
I went to Jack Rabbit, where I get a nice discount and they never seem to be working on commission, though they probably are. It was busy so I just told the assistant to bring me my size in the new version of the same style of Asics I've been wearing. "Yes, time for a new pair!" the guy said sarcastically raising an eyebrow at my filthy shoes. So what! I've been out running all over the place. Give me a break!
I took the pair for a spin on the treadmill, just to make sure the fit hadn't changed, but it had. My heel popped out. We re-laced and I tried again. Same thing. I was anxious to get out of the store so I considered just taking the shoes and making the best of it but then I imagined my heel popping out of my shoe for 26.2 miles and...
We sat down and discussed what I'd liked about my old Asics. Cushion, elevated heel, wide toe box... but I said I was willing to try something else. The guy was hesitant to let me move away from cushion considering my injury. He seemed stumped. I saw him go talk to one of the other associates and then he disappeared to the back.
When he returned, he pulled out a pair of low tech looking shoes. I'm past caring what color my shoes are (since they get covered with mud anyway after about two runs!) but these didn't even try to be pretty. Grey with blue and some kind of purple inverted Nike swoosh. "What brand is that?" I asked. My stomach sank as his lips formed the word, "Brooks." I half heartedly agreed to put one shoe on, only on the left foot. I took myself to the treadmill, with the Asics shoe still on my right foot, and ran.
Have you ever run in two radically different shoes? Kind of like dating a nice guy and a jerk in the same week. Instant depositioning where previously there might have been some interest. Bizarre!
As flat and un-cushioned as the Brooks was... as low to the ground... as long and narrow... the Brooks just felt more like shoes I'd want to keep running in. They were less cumbersome. I kind of liked that there wasn't so much cushion. I don't know if I'll feel the same way over a longer distance so, with the store's "satisfaction guaranteed" 2 week return policy, I'm giving them a 5 mile test run. If they aren't what I want, Jack Rabbit will let me exchange them. How do they stay in business with such kindness?
I've got my Brooks on right now, just getting used to how it feels to be wearing a running shoe that's so low and flatter footed. Using new information to reconsider something formerly dismissed is one of the greatest joys a person could know. It means there's no end to what I might discover in life. There are no dead ends, and no rabbit holes. Well, only the good kind.
Friday, September 24, 2010
43: Rub Down
Finally, I went for a massage. I simply couldn't stand how I felt any more. I had myriad other plans but cancelled them all. My body was screaming for attention.
I think it did me some good. I guess I'll know tomorrow. I might even go back for another one.
Now, to sleep. I am still sooooo tired.
I think it did me some good. I guess I'll know tomorrow. I might even go back for another one.
Now, to sleep. I am still sooooo tired.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
44: Day of Rest
I didn't run today. I would have but I had a long day planned from early to night. I'm still stiff from Sunday, eating bananas, icing, compressing, and I'm back to my orthopedic shoes; but no matter, my energy's back so I'm sure I could have run 3-5 tonight had I had the time.
I will try for 10 miles this weekend, then a half marathon next weekend and another half the following weekend. I'll tack 7 miles onto the second half to make it 20, and that will be the longest single run I'll ever do before the marathon. From there, I will taper down.
I'm beginning to think about marathon weekend itself, organizing, imagining what it will be like. I have a lot of planning to do!
I will try for 10 miles this weekend, then a half marathon next weekend and another half the following weekend. I'll tack 7 miles onto the second half to make it 20, and that will be the longest single run I'll ever do before the marathon. From there, I will taper down.
I'm beginning to think about marathon weekend itself, organizing, imagining what it will be like. I have a lot of planning to do!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
45: High Heels in Hotlanta
I was in Atlanta today presenting at a somewhat formal meeting. I didn't feel comfortable sporting my chunky orthopedic sandals with my short dress, especially in front of new people who would have no idea that I'm injured. They might just think I was a freak. So, out came a pair of my favorite 2" high heeled sandals from the back of the closet. Oh, how I've missed them!
To my surprise, they felt amazing - even after several hours of standing. What's the lesson here? I'm not sure. I guess that wearing heels doesn't have to be categorically bad. It might even be good as a relief to my high arches, which long to be supported.
So, now I'm on the hunt for medium-high heels with a wide toe box that are dressy enough for work and stylish enough for me to be able to cope with. I do genuinely wish I could wear sneakers all the time as they are the most comfortable shoes for me; but sneakers aren't really acceptable footwear for the workplace.
What ever happened to those shoes from the 1980s that had that ad campaign, "Looks like a pump... Feels like a sneaker!" Or was that just a spoof on "Saturday Night Live?" I can't remember. I'm going to have to Google that.
To my surprise, they felt amazing - even after several hours of standing. What's the lesson here? I'm not sure. I guess that wearing heels doesn't have to be categorically bad. It might even be good as a relief to my high arches, which long to be supported.
So, now I'm on the hunt for medium-high heels with a wide toe box that are dressy enough for work and stylish enough for me to be able to cope with. I do genuinely wish I could wear sneakers all the time as they are the most comfortable shoes for me; but sneakers aren't really acceptable footwear for the workplace.
What ever happened to those shoes from the 1980s that had that ad campaign, "Looks like a pump... Feels like a sneaker!" Or was that just a spoof on "Saturday Night Live?" I can't remember. I'm going to have to Google that.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
46: 2M Run & Stretch
I'm still pretty stiff today but I got to the gym this morning and ran 2 miles. I didn't have to start as slowly as I remember having had to start after I ran my first Half Marathon. That seems good. I'll wait another day or so before I run a longer distance, and then this weekend I'll run maybe 10 miles outdoors. I'm starting to get so excited about the marathon! Happy excited, not scared excited.
I don't suddenly think it will be easy, or that I'll necessarily finish; but I know I'll make it past 10 miles, and hopefully even into Manhattan - for the finish line. The last leg of the marathon is on home turf, Central Park, but it's the hilliest section of the entire course, and so will be the hardest for me. I'll be lucky to be walking at that point. And just when I'll be most likely to see friends along the route, too! Isn't life just like that?
After my quick workout this morning, I spent a good 15 minutes stretching. It felt amazing. I haven't done much stretching since the big run. When it was done I just wanted to jump in the ice bath! I'll have to research that, whether one should stretch first and then go to the ice, or ice and then stretch? Always so much to learn...
Today, there was a guy at the gym with me stretching before he worked out or even warmed up. "Amateur," was all I could think. Should I say something? I didn't. I had the sense he was impressed with himself for having gotten to the gym at all. Let him enjoy his moment.
Now, I've got to go find some potassium! And, oh yeah, the foot hurts again... Not worse than before. The same. I'm just going to have to keep treating it and ignoring it. Awesome.
I don't suddenly think it will be easy, or that I'll necessarily finish; but I know I'll make it past 10 miles, and hopefully even into Manhattan - for the finish line. The last leg of the marathon is on home turf, Central Park, but it's the hilliest section of the entire course, and so will be the hardest for me. I'll be lucky to be walking at that point. And just when I'll be most likely to see friends along the route, too! Isn't life just like that?
After my quick workout this morning, I spent a good 15 minutes stretching. It felt amazing. I haven't done much stretching since the big run. When it was done I just wanted to jump in the ice bath! I'll have to research that, whether one should stretch first and then go to the ice, or ice and then stretch? Always so much to learn...
Today, there was a guy at the gym with me stretching before he worked out or even warmed up. "Amateur," was all I could think. Should I say something? I didn't. I had the sense he was impressed with himself for having gotten to the gym at all. Let him enjoy his moment.
Now, I've got to go find some potassium! And, oh yeah, the foot hurts again... Not worse than before. The same. I'm just going to have to keep treating it and ignoring it. Awesome.
Monday, September 20, 2010
47: Shaken Baby Syndrome
First, the expected. Today I felt like crap. Worst recovery ever. It was as if my soft little vulnerably baby body had been shaken for 4 hours straight yesterday, leaving bruised ribs, tender shoulders, and a cloudy head.
I have a horizontal gash across my chest where my sports bra beat into my flesh. I wobbled along on stiff legs and tight calves all day. Sitting down, getting up, staircases - all a challenge. I used a foam roller on myself but that didn't seem to help. What I need to do is drink more water and get some potassium. And sleep. And swim. Tomorrow.
There's something else going on that's quite peculiar. I hesitate to write about it because I'm afraid you'll think I'm nuts. But when I woke up this morning, just about the only thing that didn't hurt was my feet - namely my bad right foot. As much as you think I'd be happy to report this, it's almost more disturbing... How could the pain just suddenly go? Did I snap something back into place while running yesterday? I don't remember feeling something snap into place. Do I have so much adrenaline coursing through my body right now that I just can't feel any pain? Am I in some kind of post traumatic stress mode that numbs me?
Basically, I am skeptical that I will continue to remain pain free. It seems impossible that I'm suddenly OK. But I suppose greater miracles have happened so I will keep a hopeful, open mind. Just doesn't fit the profile of what the doctor told me is wrong with me. Maybe he was mistaken?
I have a horizontal gash across my chest where my sports bra beat into my flesh. I wobbled along on stiff legs and tight calves all day. Sitting down, getting up, staircases - all a challenge. I used a foam roller on myself but that didn't seem to help. What I need to do is drink more water and get some potassium. And sleep. And swim. Tomorrow.
There's something else going on that's quite peculiar. I hesitate to write about it because I'm afraid you'll think I'm nuts. But when I woke up this morning, just about the only thing that didn't hurt was my feet - namely my bad right foot. As much as you think I'd be happy to report this, it's almost more disturbing... How could the pain just suddenly go? Did I snap something back into place while running yesterday? I don't remember feeling something snap into place. Do I have so much adrenaline coursing through my body right now that I just can't feel any pain? Am I in some kind of post traumatic stress mode that numbs me?
Basically, I am skeptical that I will continue to remain pain free. It seems impossible that I'm suddenly OK. But I suppose greater miracles have happened so I will keep a hopeful, open mind. Just doesn't fit the profile of what the doctor told me is wrong with me. Maybe he was mistaken?
Sunday, September 19, 2010
48: 18M Marathon Tune-Up (4:03:42/13:33)
Before today, the longest I've ever run was 15 miles; and that was nearly 6 months ago, on March 27. So, let's just say I went into today's 18 mile timed ING Marathon Tune-up race with a sense of adventure. I was going to try my best, and take it one mile at a time, but it would be a serious challenge. Would my foot injury flare up en route? Had my lack of sufficient training set me back significantly? Or would I find a way to harness my top-of-class stubbornness for good?
I used a little negative reinforcement. I told myself that I if I couldn't run 18 miles today, there really was no hope of finishing the marathon. (True.) It was do or die. And - barring blood spurting out of my leg stumps - I was not allowed to drop out.
I told myself I had prepared as well as I could have, considering my injury, but that less training meant more rested legs, so that was no excuse. (Sort of true.) With every passing mile, instead of saying "one down," I'd say, "17 to go; and I may not have run 17 miles before but I've run 15, and I survived; so there's no reason I can't run 15, plus a few more." And so on...
I had one major crisis during the run and that was after mile 10. I'd wrapped both my feet in compression bandages before I started, and the bandage on my left foot (which isn't injured, but always blisters badly) was cutting into my foot. I stopped on a bench, took both of my shoes off, and removed one of the bandages. I aired the socks out. 8 more miles? I just kept telling myself, "I've run 8 miles before. Piece of cake. The pain in my feet is nothing new. It's not an emergency. It's just pain. Keep going."
By mile 12, all I could think of was the ice bath I was going to soak in at my house. I'd prepared Tupperware filled with giant ice blocks to drop into the tub. It was going to be sweet! And then I'd sleep. I shut my eyes a few times while I was running; always awful opening them up again. *Yes, this is really happening. You are running 18 miles today. But it will be over soon and you can take a taxi to the ice bath, pretty princess!*
One of the worst surprises at today's run was that they didn't have enough power gels to go around. By the time I made it to the stations, they were out. I'd brought one with me just in case... and I had that after about an hour and a half of running, but I really could have used 2 or 3 more along the way. I hydrated a lot before the race, and took tablespoons full of Himalayan rock salt Friday and Saturday, which worked great. Very little salt on my skin and very little swelling. But there's nothing quite like a power gel to replenish all the electrolytes you lose running on a hot day.
Once I had looped the Park twice, I changed my attitude from "We'll see how far I get," to. "It is done." Short of having a heart attack or slipping and breaking my leg, nothing would have kept me from the finish. My pace got much slower but I could afford the time, so I didn't fret. All I needed to do was finish in under 4 hours. I thought I had that in the bag!
Not so much. In the end, I finished a few minutes over the target; but that's OK. The last few miles were just sheer torture. I tried to notice the "runner's high" I was feeling, and appreciate that; but by mile 16 I felt like I had cement blocks tied to my legs, which kinda ruined the buzz. I told myself to relax, and calm down, that that feeling would pass. (You get so panicked when you're running and something changes in your body that you aren't expecting!) But it didn't really pass. I just had to cope, slog on, and feel the breeze as clusters of early morning walkers passed me. Yes, walkers passed me... while I was running.
The finish line was my favorite finish line of all time!! I took my iPod off completely to enjoy the moment and, for the first time in my running career, I heard the announcer actually call my name as I crossed! Since there were very few people finishing when I did, I turned to him and called out, "Did I win?" He burst out laughing. It was good to hear the sound of my own voice. I am funny. And I just ran 18 fucking miles! And then I burst out crying because, well, I just ran 18 miles.
If I can be honest with you, I have never really been impressed with myself before. I'm always hard on myself. Whatever I do, whatever compliments I get, I say thank you but inside I'm thinking of how I could have done it better. But today, I did enough. And with 18 in my pocket, what's 26.2? I've done 18. And I've done 8. That's just 18 and 8, and a little blip. I can do that. Piece of cake! Marathon, here I come! I am really doing this.
I used a little negative reinforcement. I told myself that I if I couldn't run 18 miles today, there really was no hope of finishing the marathon. (True.) It was do or die. And - barring blood spurting out of my leg stumps - I was not allowed to drop out.
I told myself I had prepared as well as I could have, considering my injury, but that less training meant more rested legs, so that was no excuse. (Sort of true.) With every passing mile, instead of saying "one down," I'd say, "17 to go; and I may not have run 17 miles before but I've run 15, and I survived; so there's no reason I can't run 15, plus a few more." And so on...
I had one major crisis during the run and that was after mile 10. I'd wrapped both my feet in compression bandages before I started, and the bandage on my left foot (which isn't injured, but always blisters badly) was cutting into my foot. I stopped on a bench, took both of my shoes off, and removed one of the bandages. I aired the socks out. 8 more miles? I just kept telling myself, "I've run 8 miles before. Piece of cake. The pain in my feet is nothing new. It's not an emergency. It's just pain. Keep going."
By mile 12, all I could think of was the ice bath I was going to soak in at my house. I'd prepared Tupperware filled with giant ice blocks to drop into the tub. It was going to be sweet! And then I'd sleep. I shut my eyes a few times while I was running; always awful opening them up again. *Yes, this is really happening. You are running 18 miles today. But it will be over soon and you can take a taxi to the ice bath, pretty princess!*
One of the worst surprises at today's run was that they didn't have enough power gels to go around. By the time I made it to the stations, they were out. I'd brought one with me just in case... and I had that after about an hour and a half of running, but I really could have used 2 or 3 more along the way. I hydrated a lot before the race, and took tablespoons full of Himalayan rock salt Friday and Saturday, which worked great. Very little salt on my skin and very little swelling. But there's nothing quite like a power gel to replenish all the electrolytes you lose running on a hot day.
Once I had looped the Park twice, I changed my attitude from "We'll see how far I get," to. "It is done." Short of having a heart attack or slipping and breaking my leg, nothing would have kept me from the finish. My pace got much slower but I could afford the time, so I didn't fret. All I needed to do was finish in under 4 hours. I thought I had that in the bag!
Not so much. In the end, I finished a few minutes over the target; but that's OK. The last few miles were just sheer torture. I tried to notice the "runner's high" I was feeling, and appreciate that; but by mile 16 I felt like I had cement blocks tied to my legs, which kinda ruined the buzz. I told myself to relax, and calm down, that that feeling would pass. (You get so panicked when you're running and something changes in your body that you aren't expecting!) But it didn't really pass. I just had to cope, slog on, and feel the breeze as clusters of early morning walkers passed me. Yes, walkers passed me... while I was running.
The finish line was my favorite finish line of all time!! I took my iPod off completely to enjoy the moment and, for the first time in my running career, I heard the announcer actually call my name as I crossed! Since there were very few people finishing when I did, I turned to him and called out, "Did I win?" He burst out laughing. It was good to hear the sound of my own voice. I am funny. And I just ran 18 fucking miles! And then I burst out crying because, well, I just ran 18 miles.
If I can be honest with you, I have never really been impressed with myself before. I'm always hard on myself. Whatever I do, whatever compliments I get, I say thank you but inside I'm thinking of how I could have done it better. But today, I did enough. And with 18 in my pocket, what's 26.2? I've done 18. And I've done 8. That's just 18 and 8, and a little blip. I can do that. Piece of cake! Marathon, here I come! I am really doing this.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
49: The Night Before
I've been prepping for tomorrow's run for days now. Eating and drinking in a particular way. Sleeping as much as possible. Organizing. Psyching myself up. Reading.
One of the fun facts I came across in my Googling was that women who have sex the night before a marathon have, on average, a 5 minute faster time at the race than women who don't. Isn't that interesting?
I don't think 5 minutes is going to make a big difference in my time, unfortunately. They max you out at 4 hours. If I even make it to 18 miles I'm guessing I'll need the whole time.
Anyway, I've done what I could to prepare, considering my bum foot; so now, all I've got left is, lights out!
One of the fun facts I came across in my Googling was that women who have sex the night before a marathon have, on average, a 5 minute faster time at the race than women who don't. Isn't that interesting?
I don't think 5 minutes is going to make a big difference in my time, unfortunately. They max you out at 4 hours. If I even make it to 18 miles I'm guessing I'll need the whole time.
Anyway, I've done what I could to prepare, considering my bum foot; so now, all I've got left is, lights out!
Friday, September 17, 2010
50: Fixing to Run
I'm drinking tons of water and Gatorade, and making sure to get enough sodium. My biggest problem during long runs, besides my foot, is loss of salt through sweat. I've tried taking salt capsules and packets during my runs, but they're a mess. Better to start with a good foundation.
I'm also carbing it up like they're about to put a tax on carbs! Pasta, potato, bread, vegetables... All the evils are now my friends. This isn't how I usually eat so I feel full and gross all the time. What I won't do for my craft!
Two days to 18 miles. Excited to see what happens.
I'm also carbing it up like they're about to put a tax on carbs! Pasta, potato, bread, vegetables... All the evils are now my friends. This isn't how I usually eat so I feel full and gross all the time. What I won't do for my craft!
Two days to 18 miles. Excited to see what happens.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
51: Meat Buzz!
It started four days ago, on Monday. I woke up thinking about beef. Not chicken, or pork. Just beef. I had to have some.
Of course, I haven't eaten meat in nearly six months now. I've had cravings come and go after the initial induction period when I almost ate a French Bulldog on the street, and had passing thoughts of chewing on my own arm; but I eventually learned these were just cravings that I could get through with a vitamin and a protein substitute.
Not so much this week. It was different. My cravings were more intense. Monday was almost unbearable. By lunch time, I could think of nothing but steak. I took myself to the best salad bar around the corner and examined the beefy options but they were pathetic. I kept my pledge not to support potential cruelty to animals.
That evening, the cravings rose up again, but I managed them; and then the same again all day Tuesday, and Wednesday. Wednesday night my date ordered Ethiopian lamb stew and I had all I could do not to take my fork, thrust it across the table and plunge it into one of his chunks of meat.
This morning, I woke up at 5:30AM from a dream about eating a juicy, char broiled steak. So disturbing! I took myself for a run in the Park and tried to clear my mind. Then the strangest thing kept happening when I was out there on the loop. My eye kept catching on the various metal lamp posts and stop lights along the route... I felt a strong desire to run up and gnaw on one. "OK, that's it!" I thought to myself. I know farm animals will naturally chew on iron posts when they're iron deficient. This obsession with meat is clearly founded in some kind of deficiency!
Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, is very close at hand. I am mindful of the way I've lived my life this past year, what behaviors I'd like to carry through to the next year, and which I would like to discontinue. This is a period of reflection and planning, and I take it seriously. Of course, what I eat is included in that consideration set.
Not eating meat has been a burden lifted! I feel more self-expressed, healthier, and lighter, even though I'm not physically lighter. But tonight I decided to open myself up to the possibility that moderate meat consumption, of organic meat, that has been minimally processed in a cruelty-free way, could be an acceptable route for me. The moderate path is in some ways more noble than total abstinence. It requires more willpower and planning, more daily consciousness.
So, after picking up some materials at the NYRR office tonight, I headed over to Whole Foods and bought myself an organic, grass fed beef fillet. I chose the piece carefully, and thought of the animal which had given its life for me. I didn't feel sad. I felt positively expectant!! I broiled the steak up perfectly. From the first bite, it felt like exactly what I needed. A chemical change washed over my body and the frantic urgency I've experienced for days dissipated.
I wasn't sure if it was OK to eat the whole thing, or I should just eat half, but it was so delicious and satisfying, I went all the way. Right now I've got a bit of a buzz on. A meat buzz! Can you imagine that? I can't say beef has ever had that kind of effect on me before. It's so interesting what happens to you when you abstain from something for a long time and then return.
For now I am content. One serving of dead animal every six months - even every three months - feels reasonable to me. A lot better then losing four days feeling mortally deprived and drooling over street lamps.
Of course, I haven't eaten meat in nearly six months now. I've had cravings come and go after the initial induction period when I almost ate a French Bulldog on the street, and had passing thoughts of chewing on my own arm; but I eventually learned these were just cravings that I could get through with a vitamin and a protein substitute.
Not so much this week. It was different. My cravings were more intense. Monday was almost unbearable. By lunch time, I could think of nothing but steak. I took myself to the best salad bar around the corner and examined the beefy options but they were pathetic. I kept my pledge not to support potential cruelty to animals.
That evening, the cravings rose up again, but I managed them; and then the same again all day Tuesday, and Wednesday. Wednesday night my date ordered Ethiopian lamb stew and I had all I could do not to take my fork, thrust it across the table and plunge it into one of his chunks of meat.
This morning, I woke up at 5:30AM from a dream about eating a juicy, char broiled steak. So disturbing! I took myself for a run in the Park and tried to clear my mind. Then the strangest thing kept happening when I was out there on the loop. My eye kept catching on the various metal lamp posts and stop lights along the route... I felt a strong desire to run up and gnaw on one. "OK, that's it!" I thought to myself. I know farm animals will naturally chew on iron posts when they're iron deficient. This obsession with meat is clearly founded in some kind of deficiency!
Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement, is very close at hand. I am mindful of the way I've lived my life this past year, what behaviors I'd like to carry through to the next year, and which I would like to discontinue. This is a period of reflection and planning, and I take it seriously. Of course, what I eat is included in that consideration set.
Not eating meat has been a burden lifted! I feel more self-expressed, healthier, and lighter, even though I'm not physically lighter. But tonight I decided to open myself up to the possibility that moderate meat consumption, of organic meat, that has been minimally processed in a cruelty-free way, could be an acceptable route for me. The moderate path is in some ways more noble than total abstinence. It requires more willpower and planning, more daily consciousness.
So, after picking up some materials at the NYRR office tonight, I headed over to Whole Foods and bought myself an organic, grass fed beef fillet. I chose the piece carefully, and thought of the animal which had given its life for me. I didn't feel sad. I felt positively expectant!! I broiled the steak up perfectly. From the first bite, it felt like exactly what I needed. A chemical change washed over my body and the frantic urgency I've experienced for days dissipated.
I wasn't sure if it was OK to eat the whole thing, or I should just eat half, but it was so delicious and satisfying, I went all the way. Right now I've got a bit of a buzz on. A meat buzz! Can you imagine that? I can't say beef has ever had that kind of effect on me before. It's so interesting what happens to you when you abstain from something for a long time and then return.
For now I am content. One serving of dead animal every six months - even every three months - feels reasonable to me. A lot better then losing four days feeling mortally deprived and drooling over street lamps.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
52: 2.5M at Sunset
May I have many more runs like the run I had tonight. Just a quickie. Under 30 minutes. Outside in the Park at the "magic hour" as the sun was beginning to set.
I ran slowly. Only one man and one woman (both very fit looking, I should add) ran more slowly than I did. Their gaits were like an experiment in slow!
I felt no pressure to go faster. My face turned red. I sweat up a storm. My stomach hurt because I'd eaten a late lunch. But I never stopped. No need to.
My foot was just annoying, mostly. There was only pain when I went downhill. Uphill was OK.
I'm beginning to think of how I'll be geared up for the marathon. I need to buy that Garmin, and get a smaller clip-on iPod, and new sneakers and break them in... and a shirt with my name on it... and a few pairs of my favorite socks... and maybe sunglasses. I need to get a map of the course, and start picking meeting points and asking friends to support me on the day. I need to send an evite out so people save the date! I've already have two friends invite me away over the weekend of the marathon! I'm like, uh, I might be a little busy!! And so are you!
I'm not going to be afraid to ask people to help support me on the day of the race. I rarely ask for help; but I can't do this one without the village. No way...
I ran slowly. Only one man and one woman (both very fit looking, I should add) ran more slowly than I did. Their gaits were like an experiment in slow!
I felt no pressure to go faster. My face turned red. I sweat up a storm. My stomach hurt because I'd eaten a late lunch. But I never stopped. No need to.
My foot was just annoying, mostly. There was only pain when I went downhill. Uphill was OK.
I'm beginning to think of how I'll be geared up for the marathon. I need to buy that Garmin, and get a smaller clip-on iPod, and new sneakers and break them in... and a shirt with my name on it... and a few pairs of my favorite socks... and maybe sunglasses. I need to get a map of the course, and start picking meeting points and asking friends to support me on the day. I need to send an evite out so people save the date! I've already have two friends invite me away over the weekend of the marathon! I'm like, uh, I might be a little busy!! And so are you!
I'm not going to be afraid to ask people to help support me on the day of the race. I rarely ask for help; but I can't do this one without the village. No way...
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
53: Gel is Swell, in a Manner of Speaking
I'm the proud owner now of three ice-alternative gel packs. I know... You're thinking, this girl's got to get a life! (Maybe you'd like me to go back to talking about socks?) What can I say. I'm just not that exciting.
After a month of walking back and forth from the kitchen to my office at work with ice bags that leaked after one use, I finally got wise. And no more icing my foot on frozen dead animals, or vegetables at home, either. I'm like a real athlete now.
I've got one big gel pack for home that wraps nicely right around my foot so I can ice the top and bottom of my foot at the same time, seamlessly. Then I've got two medium sized gel packs that I keep at work, or will bring with me for travel. I can discretely tote them back and forth to the freezer several times a day. They stay cold, feel fun, and are a cheerful blue. They're a miracle!
My boss' boss at work has some knee trouble and just had surgery; so we're a team on ice. I wonder who else will join in... It's only a matter of time. Since I work in the drinks industry, I wonder whether all this ice-free time will get me thinking innovatively. Why are we all such slaves to "rocks?" How about a gelled cocktail? OK, I might have some more thinking to do on this one.
After a month of walking back and forth from the kitchen to my office at work with ice bags that leaked after one use, I finally got wise. And no more icing my foot on frozen dead animals, or vegetables at home, either. I'm like a real athlete now.
I've got one big gel pack for home that wraps nicely right around my foot so I can ice the top and bottom of my foot at the same time, seamlessly. Then I've got two medium sized gel packs that I keep at work, or will bring with me for travel. I can discretely tote them back and forth to the freezer several times a day. They stay cold, feel fun, and are a cheerful blue. They're a miracle!
My boss' boss at work has some knee trouble and just had surgery; so we're a team on ice. I wonder who else will join in... It's only a matter of time. Since I work in the drinks industry, I wonder whether all this ice-free time will get me thinking innovatively. Why are we all such slaves to "rocks?" How about a gelled cocktail? OK, I might have some more thinking to do on this one.
Monday, September 13, 2010
54: Lucky 18
I am still suffering from Saturday's rough massage. Can you believe it? Not that that stopped me from running. Foot pain, exhaustion, and a bad schedule were to blame. Tomorrow - before work - I'll put some miles in.
I'm gearing up mentally for Sunday's 18 mile training run. 18 miles... 18 is my lucky number. I'm going to need a LOT of luck to survive a haul like that. I struggled with last weekend's 4 miles!
On one hand, I can't believe I'm even contemplating attempting to run 18 miles. On the other, I know, of course I can do it. I just need to take it slow and easy, and be patient with myself, and pray my foot doesn't hurt too much to carry on.
Now, where's my ice pack?
I'm gearing up mentally for Sunday's 18 mile training run. 18 miles... 18 is my lucky number. I'm going to need a LOT of luck to survive a haul like that. I struggled with last weekend's 4 miles!
On one hand, I can't believe I'm even contemplating attempting to run 18 miles. On the other, I know, of course I can do it. I just need to take it slow and easy, and be patient with myself, and pray my foot doesn't hurt too much to carry on.
Now, where's my ice pack?
Sunday, September 12, 2010
55: I Like it Rough
Sure, a gentle massage can be relaxing; but when I'm paying good money, I want it rough. I want that woman (or man) to get in there and squeeze out every last toxin and bit of lactic acid from my muscles. I want dizziness to descend, and my pee to run brown for days afterward. Come on, baby, make it hurt so good!
I went for an hour long massage yesterday and had a new person. She was small but fierce. 30 hours later, I'm still aching. My back's the worst. I need to go more often. I think I'll try to go once a week for a month and see if there are any notably positive effects! Just as an experiment.
I went for an hour long massage yesterday and had a new person. She was small but fierce. 30 hours later, I'm still aching. My back's the worst. I need to go more often. I think I'll try to go once a week for a month and see if there are any notably positive effects! Just as an experiment.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
56: 4M Race on Autopilot (46:03/11:30 Pace)
I ran my first race today since June 27th. Hard to believe it's been that long.
I wrapped both of my feet up in compression bandages and hustled over to the Park at the last minute to pick up my race number. I brought a bag with me to check - in it, a hodgepodge of stuff I didn't really need. A phone, a gel, some water, chap stick. For a 4 mile race? Overdone, Sanders.
I felt no anxiety at all. No pre-race jitters. No desire to talk to strangers. No interest in the goody bag at the end. I just felt like I was on autopilot, jogging my way to registration to warm up, cueing my iPod up, ambling to the start line with the crowd.
Maybe I was just reflecting on the day, September 11th. Thinking about my cousin who died on Flight 95. The irony of it all; he was the CEO of a family business established in the 1940s, Safe Flight Instrument Corporation, which makes airplane safety equipment. He was also a founder of the Corporate Angel Network, which flies cancer patients to hospitals for free. My dad volunteered for the Angel Network. Ours was a family passionate about flying. On Yom Kippur, my father used to take me to Westchester Airport to watch the planes take off and pass the time before we could break the fast. That was back in the day when you could get access to a runway. Before 9/11.
The gun went off today and I just started moving. I wasn't going to try for a PR. I just wanted to check in with myself and see how much of my race "game" had atrophied during my time off. I'm a different runner now than I was in July. I have a different level of confidence, and a different goal. I wanted to see how that manifested on a timed course.
My first two miles were quite remarkable. I never stopped. Not even for water. I ran straight up Cat Hill for the first time maybe ever. I kept a very competitive pace, slightly faster than my best race pace. In mile three it occurred to me that I might be setting myself up for a PR and I got a little bit excited. I let myself run faster. Probably at a 10 mph pace if I had to guess, and that was, quite simply, the end of me.
During mile 3 I started to feel nauseous. I walked on flat surfaces and downhills, and lost time. Then, because I'd stopped, the uphills were harder than they should have been, so I had to walk some of them too. I checked on my iPod. I was probably not going to make a PR no matter what I did to catch up; I decided to just focus on finishing with steady running.
The nausea came back again a few times. I walked when I wanted to. I forgot about my PR dreams. In the end, my pace was better than I thought it would have been considering all the walking.
I haven't mentioned the pain. From mile one, with every ball strike of my foot, I felt pain. It never abated. At the end I looked for ice but missed the first aid station so instead went home and put my foot between bags of frozen broccoli and asparagus. I've really got to get some big frozen gel packs!
I am glad I ran the race today. Next weekend there is a long training run scheduled on Sunday. I'm not supposed to run long distances, but I think I will. I put in 16 miles total this week and next week hope to get up to 20, at least. Probably more. I don't know what will happen with my foot pain, if it will get better or worse, or just stay the same. One day at a time. And during the difficult parts, I think my best strategy is to do what I did today and go on autopilot.
I wrapped both of my feet up in compression bandages and hustled over to the Park at the last minute to pick up my race number. I brought a bag with me to check - in it, a hodgepodge of stuff I didn't really need. A phone, a gel, some water, chap stick. For a 4 mile race? Overdone, Sanders.
I felt no anxiety at all. No pre-race jitters. No desire to talk to strangers. No interest in the goody bag at the end. I just felt like I was on autopilot, jogging my way to registration to warm up, cueing my iPod up, ambling to the start line with the crowd.
Maybe I was just reflecting on the day, September 11th. Thinking about my cousin who died on Flight 95. The irony of it all; he was the CEO of a family business established in the 1940s, Safe Flight Instrument Corporation, which makes airplane safety equipment. He was also a founder of the Corporate Angel Network, which flies cancer patients to hospitals for free. My dad volunteered for the Angel Network. Ours was a family passionate about flying. On Yom Kippur, my father used to take me to Westchester Airport to watch the planes take off and pass the time before we could break the fast. That was back in the day when you could get access to a runway. Before 9/11.
The gun went off today and I just started moving. I wasn't going to try for a PR. I just wanted to check in with myself and see how much of my race "game" had atrophied during my time off. I'm a different runner now than I was in July. I have a different level of confidence, and a different goal. I wanted to see how that manifested on a timed course.
My first two miles were quite remarkable. I never stopped. Not even for water. I ran straight up Cat Hill for the first time maybe ever. I kept a very competitive pace, slightly faster than my best race pace. In mile three it occurred to me that I might be setting myself up for a PR and I got a little bit excited. I let myself run faster. Probably at a 10 mph pace if I had to guess, and that was, quite simply, the end of me.
During mile 3 I started to feel nauseous. I walked on flat surfaces and downhills, and lost time. Then, because I'd stopped, the uphills were harder than they should have been, so I had to walk some of them too. I checked on my iPod. I was probably not going to make a PR no matter what I did to catch up; I decided to just focus on finishing with steady running.
The nausea came back again a few times. I walked when I wanted to. I forgot about my PR dreams. In the end, my pace was better than I thought it would have been considering all the walking.
I haven't mentioned the pain. From mile one, with every ball strike of my foot, I felt pain. It never abated. At the end I looked for ice but missed the first aid station so instead went home and put my foot between bags of frozen broccoli and asparagus. I've really got to get some big frozen gel packs!
I am glad I ran the race today. Next weekend there is a long training run scheduled on Sunday. I'm not supposed to run long distances, but I think I will. I put in 16 miles total this week and next week hope to get up to 20, at least. Probably more. I don't know what will happen with my foot pain, if it will get better or worse, or just stay the same. One day at a time. And during the difficult parts, I think my best strategy is to do what I did today and go on autopilot.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
58: 6M Run in Seattle
I called room service for a bucket of ice. "On second thought, could you possibly bring two?" Party in room 1406! No really... I was about to go out for a run and wanted to make sure I had plenty of ice in the room, ready for my return.
"Yes, ma'am," the bellboy replied, I'm sure wondering why anyone would call for two buckets of ice at 7AM. Then I thought of something else I needed.
"And can you bring a pair of scissors? Would you have those in the kitchen or do I need to call the front desk?" There was a long pause. "Are you there?" Silence. I thought maybe I'm confusing him; I should explain, "It's for some medical tape I need to cut."
Too much information? Why do I always say too much? "Ummm... Let me ask my manager," he murmured and then, more silence. Finally he came back, "Yes, we will send scissors."
Within what seemed like moments, there came a very firm knocking on the door. That was fast! I expected it to be the young bellboy with my ice and scissors but, instead, an unfamiiliar deep male voice called out, "This is security! Is everything OK?" I rushed to the door and peeked out.
Apparently, at this hotel, people don't often call downstairs for two large buckets of ice and scissors, and mention things like medical tape, at 7AM. They feared an accident on the premises, or maybe, something more sinister. I opened the door in my running clothes and explained the situation. We all had a good laugh, and, in the meanwhile, the goods came up from the kitchen.
Seattle's a groovy town. I experienced some lovely things on my run this morning. Seagulls. Crab apples. Hobos playing the guitar. The smell of fish at Pike's market, and salty air down on the path stretching north along Elliott's Bay. The Space Needle. Myrtle Edwards Park. Kinnear Park. Massive container lifts. Tourists pulling wheelie bags. And coffee shops everywhere.
It's grey and damp here today. Women are wearing down parkas. Men are in fleece and layers. Me? I did my tour in the usual summer attire - shorts and a sleeveless technical tank. People seemed unfazed. I got a high-5 from a vendor selling posters on the fringe of the market.
I didn't have any water along the way which I didn't like. No fountains. I wonder why. I brought some cash but there wasn't even a place to buy water.
I took a route that mapped out originally to 7 miles; but I ended up cutting a city mile out - too much traffic. So today I went 6 miles, with probably a half a mile of walking in there in the first 3 miles. The last 3 I ran straight, thinking to myself all the while, "This may be unpleasant now, but running makes the rest of my life better. I'm doing something good for myself. 100 calories a mile! Woo hoo!" And after mile 3, it wasn't even unpleasant. If the last leg hadn't been uphill on a 30 degree incline, I might have sprinted.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
59: Sweet Wishes, Honey!
Tonight is the start of the Jewish New Year. No matter how involved or not involved I've been in Judaism over the course of my life, the new year has always marked an important time of reflection and renewal for me. This year is no different.
In fact, I don't think I've ever had more to be grateful for. Even with the probable dashing of my NYC marathon dreams for this year, I feel great satisfaction in having found a new dream that is more about sustaining an active life over time than about one particular day in November. This is not at all what I expected to feel 59 days before the big race. I feel no anxiety, only excitement. What will be? We shall see.
I like what I did last year. I made radical changes in many parts of my life and I am better for them. For the next year ahead...the sky's the limit! (And with that I don't mean to imply I'm going to be sky diving!)
L'Shana Tova.
In fact, I don't think I've ever had more to be grateful for. Even with the probable dashing of my NYC marathon dreams for this year, I feel great satisfaction in having found a new dream that is more about sustaining an active life over time than about one particular day in November. This is not at all what I expected to feel 59 days before the big race. I feel no anxiety, only excitement. What will be? We shall see.
I like what I did last year. I made radical changes in many parts of my life and I am better for them. For the next year ahead...the sky's the limit! (And with that I don't mean to imply I'm going to be sky diving!)
L'Shana Tova.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
60: Day of Rest
Not much to say. A proper day of rest. Good thing too because my foot hurts. I need to ice. Waaaah!
Monday, September 6, 2010
61: 6M Run in Diddy's Socks
The year was 2003, and Sean "Puffy" Combs, aka "Diddy," had made a pledge to run the NYC Marathon. As is his way, he made a campaign of it. "Diddy Runs the City" ads were up everywhere and the brand I was fronting at the time became a sponsor.
There was a banquet the night before the marathon. I went and sat at a VIP table. We all eagerly awaited the entrance of the man of honor, but he never showed. Booo... all the sponsors said. (Now I have a little bit more sympathy for the guy. He was probably home shitting himself!)
At the banquet, in lieu of goodie bags, there were special favors at each place setting - Nike running socks and a small gift box with instructions inside on how to order a pair of custom "Diddy Runs the City" Nike running shoes in your choice of color and, of course, size. I ordered the shoes eventually but, when they arrived, I promptly gave them away to a friend who was a runner and would wear them. What need had I for running shoes? Blech.
The socks have floated around. First they went into the sock drawer I shared with "J." All our socks were merged along with everything else. When we split, I took half the workout socks, half the dress socks, half the wool winter socks, and made sure not to leave him with anything pink. I ended up with both pairs of our "Diddy" socks. I never wore them because they were so thin, and black, and went up the ankle too high for me. I figured they were men's socks and, anyway, I like a lot of padding. When I did the sorting I suppose I wasn't in the best state of mind; I might have paid better attention and left them behind.
Today, I found myself out of socks. Completely. No idea how that happened. Did I leave a load in the dryer some time? My only choice was the Diddy Nike socks. They were brand new and still had the tags on. Well, why not? Good enough for Diddy, good enough for me, right?
So, I ran my 6 miles in the pretty Park this morning. I walked a ton. I stopped and stretched for 5 minutes after 2.5 miles. It wasn't exactly a stellar performance; but by mile 5, I was cruising and things in my right foot didn't hurt as much as they had on Saturday, so I felt pretty good. The only thing that felt really bad was... my left foot! The one that always used to give me trouble with blisters and bleeding.
When I got home I took my shoes off and found my left paw a bloody, blistered mess. The thin Diddy socks had not been adequate padding for my fragile tootsies. Instead of just soaking my right foot, I put both in, and wondered what Diddy's run might have been like. I've actually looked his results up in the last year. I'd always wondered if he'd really finished but hadn't known you could check anyone's results (Katie Holmes included, if you're so inclined to snoop) on the NYRR.ORG website. He did finish and with a respectable time. That man is a machine. After today I'd be curious to know if he wore this same style of Nike socks for the marathon; I am guessing not!
Time to do laundry and get my gear lined up for my next run on Wednesday. 7 miles. Never again in Diddy's socks...
Sunday, September 5, 2010
62: Weighing the Options
I spent a lot of time today thinking and talking with a trusted friend and fitness professional about the real prospect of my running the NYC marathon. Of course my goal has been to go 26.2 on November 7th; but I can see that my priorities have shifted. My new focus is on getting 100% better, so that I don't get into a chronic pain situation. I want to be able to run comfortably for the rest of my life.
So, my process has had some glitches. I tried steamrollering them into submission but that didn't work. I've got to be honest about where I am at, and be OK with that.
There's a very good chance I will not be running the marathon this year. I'm surprised to say I feel more than just "disappointment" as I entertain that direction. I also feel relief and excitement. It would be good to recover fully. It would be great to know I'm not jeopardizing my long term health. It would be wonderful to have another year of running and reflecting. I could work up to the 2011 marathon from quite a respectable base.
I'm not making a decision yet, just noticing that whatever happens, I'll find happiness with my path and life will go on.
So, my process has had some glitches. I tried steamrollering them into submission but that didn't work. I've got to be honest about where I am at, and be OK with that.
There's a very good chance I will not be running the marathon this year. I'm surprised to say I feel more than just "disappointment" as I entertain that direction. I also feel relief and excitement. It would be good to recover fully. It would be great to know I'm not jeopardizing my long term health. It would be wonderful to have another year of running and reflecting. I could work up to the 2011 marathon from quite a respectable base.
I'm not making a decision yet, just noticing that whatever happens, I'll find happiness with my path and life will go on.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
63: 5M Run & Ice Bath
What a gorgeous day it is in New York City today! I had my first Central Park run in over a month and loved every minute of it.
I went 5 miles and noted the usual patterns. The first mile was fun and easy, then I had to walk Cat Hill and take additional walk breaks for a minute each during miles 2, 3, and 4; but by mile 5 I was steady cruising. I wore my old 3/4 length orthotics and didn't feel any pain at all in my foot until mile 5, and then I had some sharp pains and strain that shot right up into my ankle for the rest of the distance.
I drank 22 oz. of Heed sport drink, which I carried with me on a belt, and had 2 sport beans at mile 2, just for old time's sake! My iPod was my trusty companion and the Nike+ gadget actually worked today for some reason.
It felt great to be out in the sun, people watching, and smelling the horse manure again! I was slow, so it took me over an hour to finish (1:05 in all) but the time flew in my head. Hard to imagine that I need to be running twice this distance by next weekend if I'm going to have any hope of being ready for the marathon. One day at a time, though. I really, really want to do this.
Now, to the ice bath!
I went 5 miles and noted the usual patterns. The first mile was fun and easy, then I had to walk Cat Hill and take additional walk breaks for a minute each during miles 2, 3, and 4; but by mile 5 I was steady cruising. I wore my old 3/4 length orthotics and didn't feel any pain at all in my foot until mile 5, and then I had some sharp pains and strain that shot right up into my ankle for the rest of the distance.
I drank 22 oz. of Heed sport drink, which I carried with me on a belt, and had 2 sport beans at mile 2, just for old time's sake! My iPod was my trusty companion and the Nike+ gadget actually worked today for some reason.
It felt great to be out in the sun, people watching, and smelling the horse manure again! I was slow, so it took me over an hour to finish (1:05 in all) but the time flew in my head. Hard to imagine that I need to be running twice this distance by next weekend if I'm going to have any hope of being ready for the marathon. One day at a time, though. I really, really want to do this.
Now, to the ice bath!
Friday, September 3, 2010
64: Mercury in Retrograde
Mercury has been in retrograde since August 20th. This phase of the planet is thought to cause complications for humans on Earth in the areas of communication and thinking processes. That would explain why I can't seem to cope with the idea that my foot isn't better.
Tonight for the first time since November 1, 2009, I considered lying - just saying I ran - even though I didn't. Easier to let you all think I am fine than to keep trying to say something intelligent about why I am not fine. Easier to imagine another blissful four miles... or paint a picture of myself sitting still on the stationary bike... than face the reality of working late, forgetting to ice, forgetting the acetaminophen, tonight's crushing humidity, and the pain I feel.
Mercury will be out of retrograde on Sept 12th. Until then, it's not considered wise to make any big decisions. Am I doing this, or not? Am I even going to try to run the marathon? Right now, I just don't know. Maybe the answer will become clearer over the next 9 days.
Tonight for the first time since November 1, 2009, I considered lying - just saying I ran - even though I didn't. Easier to let you all think I am fine than to keep trying to say something intelligent about why I am not fine. Easier to imagine another blissful four miles... or paint a picture of myself sitting still on the stationary bike... than face the reality of working late, forgetting to ice, forgetting the acetaminophen, tonight's crushing humidity, and the pain I feel.
Mercury will be out of retrograde on Sept 12th. Until then, it's not considered wise to make any big decisions. Am I doing this, or not? Am I even going to try to run the marathon? Right now, I just don't know. Maybe the answer will become clearer over the next 9 days.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
65: Opposite Emoticons
I had an amazing day at work - maybe one of my best days ever! [Insert smiling emoticon here.]
But success can be exhausting. When I got home, instead of going for a run, I decided to take it easy. I picked up my favorite vegetarian dinner (beet skordalia and whole wheat pita) from my favorite neighborhood restaurant, squeezed myself a fresh lemonade with organic lemons and agave nectar, and called a bunch of people back. I just needed to celebrate and put my feet up for a night.
Or, more specifically, I needed to put my right foot up and ice it. I'm so sad to say this but I've been uncomfortable basically since my heroin-like high wore off Tuesday night. Pains have been shooting through my foot at unexpected moments - sharp pains that make me feel like maybe running already isn't a good idea at all. I will see tomorrow how I feel.
Isn't that just like life that you could have the best day ever on one hand, and then, on the other, watch a dream turn to dust right before your eager eyes. [Insert frowning emoticon here.]
But success can be exhausting. When I got home, instead of going for a run, I decided to take it easy. I picked up my favorite vegetarian dinner (beet skordalia and whole wheat pita) from my favorite neighborhood restaurant, squeezed myself a fresh lemonade with organic lemons and agave nectar, and called a bunch of people back. I just needed to celebrate and put my feet up for a night.
Or, more specifically, I needed to put my right foot up and ice it. I'm so sad to say this but I've been uncomfortable basically since my heroin-like high wore off Tuesday night. Pains have been shooting through my foot at unexpected moments - sharp pains that make me feel like maybe running already isn't a good idea at all. I will see tomorrow how I feel.
Isn't that just like life that you could have the best day ever on one hand, and then, on the other, watch a dream turn to dust right before your eager eyes. [Insert frowning emoticon here.]
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
66: Under Surveillance
The doctor breezed in today holding my ultrasound report and said, "Your final results are in!" They were in two weeks ago. What was he talking about? He began to read out loud.
I could feel my blood pressure rising. This was old news. I'm trying to fast track, here! I resisted the urge to interrupt him and express my frustration.
Finally, he wiggled my foot around. It hurt but I didn't make a peep. He said the inflammation had gone down and it was looking better. "You'll eventually run again," he pronounced. Time stood still for a moment as I processed his words... Eventually? I thought he'd said 2 weeks and we'd see? He'd said I was going to run the marathon!
I couldn't contain myself any more. I confessed that I'd run last night. He said that was fine. We stared at each other. And then I became a bit hysterical. He grew more and more uncomfortable, interjecting with an occasional, "You need to do what I tell you," and giving me eyes that seemed to have more to say. But he wasn't saying.
Then the doctor suddenly got paged through the phone and had to excuse himself. While he was gone, I lined up the two pairs of sneakers and four pairs of orthotics I'd brought with me to the office. I made a list of questions I needed answered. I was not going to leave that room without some new information! I sat waiting. Where had he gone?
Then I had the strangest thought. What if someone was listening in on our conversation and had rung that phone to "save" him from my outburst? Not so far fetched if you consider the amount of paperwork and legal release forms I'd had to sign just to see this guy. What would stop him from bugging the room? Maybe to protect himself from clients who might sue him for bad advice he hadn't really given. He did seem like he gave good advice; but an angry celebrity can be a dangerous thing, no matter how good the advice. My theory would explain why the doctor was always so darn vague with me... and why he always had that look on his face, like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. And here's another suspicious factor. What male doctor sees a female patient without an assistant present in the room during the exam? That's unheard of these days. Not important though if you've got the whole session on camera. I decided I was very likely under surveillance.
When the doctor came back in, I reminded him about my marathon dreams. He told me I just needed to be patient, and repeated the R.I.C.E. advice. He had his assistant bring in more free anti-inflammatory pills, and more Coban compression bandages. I could tell he wanted to wrap it up.
He said, "You have to do what I tell you. Are you going to do what I tell you?" I said, "Yes! But I am! And I'm not getting any better?" We stared at each other again. He with his pleading eyes and dampened voice, and I with my dizzy confusion. Please doctor, 25,000 pennies for your thoughts? "You have to do what I tell you." Giving up, I presented my list of questions. (See the bottom if you're interested!)
The more I think about it, the more I am sure that room was bugged. All the evidence pointed to that. I've been surveilled before and caught it. Once you see the signs it's hard to believe you ever didn't see the signs. But you're never expecting it.
When I went to check out, in my head I calculated what I've spent on this doctor's advice - nearly $1,000 so far. He wants to see me again in two weeks. I declined to make the appointment just yet. I need to think about this. And maybe I need to sell some more stuff on eBay!
I'm not questioning the treatment my doctor is giving me. I'm just annoyed that there's so little I can do, he can do, to fix this situation. I want him to zap me, or shoot me up with something. I want to be paying for action, not the opposite. I will probably go back. I just need some time to embrace the idea that "nothing" could be worth so much. You'd think all my years of meditating would have prepped me for this; but, I guess, once a Western mind, always a Western mind...
______________
Q&A
What exactly is wrong?
I have bad tendinitis and degeneration of the bones around my joint, including the plantar bone. I also have a neuroma and two bursas, but they're not the trouble.
What exactly can I do about this to make it better?
Rest, ice, compression, anti-inflammatory medication and patience. Physical therapy would do nothing. Cortisone would be harmful because it would weaken an already weak area.
Have I made any progress, because it feels the same?
Yes - the inflammation is down a lot.
What exactly is going to get better? Degenerated bone doesn't sound like something that's going to regenerate?
Yes, it will. That's what the compression is for and why I have to keep icing. When there is inflammation, the compression can't work. So ice to reduce inflammation and then hope the binding encourages growth. He kept telling me all the professional athletes use Coban. This did not make me feel better.
Can I run the marathon?
Maybe. It depends. You have to be patient.
Can I run now?
He said I can run, but not long distances and not on consecutive days, and that I must ice for 20 minutes immediately after running and continue through the day when I'm not running. I said I needed him to quantify "long distance" but he wouldn't, he just kept saying, "Are you going to do what I tell you to?" and giving me that look - very paternal and nurturing - like he wanted to say something but he was stopping himself because he didn't think he should. I almost had the feeling he wanted to give me a hug.
I could feel my blood pressure rising. This was old news. I'm trying to fast track, here! I resisted the urge to interrupt him and express my frustration.
Finally, he wiggled my foot around. It hurt but I didn't make a peep. He said the inflammation had gone down and it was looking better. "You'll eventually run again," he pronounced. Time stood still for a moment as I processed his words... Eventually? I thought he'd said 2 weeks and we'd see? He'd said I was going to run the marathon!
I couldn't contain myself any more. I confessed that I'd run last night. He said that was fine. We stared at each other. And then I became a bit hysterical. He grew more and more uncomfortable, interjecting with an occasional, "You need to do what I tell you," and giving me eyes that seemed to have more to say. But he wasn't saying.
Then the doctor suddenly got paged through the phone and had to excuse himself. While he was gone, I lined up the two pairs of sneakers and four pairs of orthotics I'd brought with me to the office. I made a list of questions I needed answered. I was not going to leave that room without some new information! I sat waiting. Where had he gone?
Then I had the strangest thought. What if someone was listening in on our conversation and had rung that phone to "save" him from my outburst? Not so far fetched if you consider the amount of paperwork and legal release forms I'd had to sign just to see this guy. What would stop him from bugging the room? Maybe to protect himself from clients who might sue him for bad advice he hadn't really given. He did seem like he gave good advice; but an angry celebrity can be a dangerous thing, no matter how good the advice. My theory would explain why the doctor was always so darn vague with me... and why he always had that look on his face, like he wanted to say something, but was holding back. And here's another suspicious factor. What male doctor sees a female patient without an assistant present in the room during the exam? That's unheard of these days. Not important though if you've got the whole session on camera. I decided I was very likely under surveillance.
When the doctor came back in, I reminded him about my marathon dreams. He told me I just needed to be patient, and repeated the R.I.C.E. advice. He had his assistant bring in more free anti-inflammatory pills, and more Coban compression bandages. I could tell he wanted to wrap it up.
He said, "You have to do what I tell you. Are you going to do what I tell you?" I said, "Yes! But I am! And I'm not getting any better?" We stared at each other again. He with his pleading eyes and dampened voice, and I with my dizzy confusion. Please doctor, 25,000 pennies for your thoughts? "You have to do what I tell you." Giving up, I presented my list of questions. (See the bottom if you're interested!)
The more I think about it, the more I am sure that room was bugged. All the evidence pointed to that. I've been surveilled before and caught it. Once you see the signs it's hard to believe you ever didn't see the signs. But you're never expecting it.
When I went to check out, in my head I calculated what I've spent on this doctor's advice - nearly $1,000 so far. He wants to see me again in two weeks. I declined to make the appointment just yet. I need to think about this. And maybe I need to sell some more stuff on eBay!
I'm not questioning the treatment my doctor is giving me. I'm just annoyed that there's so little I can do, he can do, to fix this situation. I want him to zap me, or shoot me up with something. I want to be paying for action, not the opposite. I will probably go back. I just need some time to embrace the idea that "nothing" could be worth so much. You'd think all my years of meditating would have prepped me for this; but, I guess, once a Western mind, always a Western mind...
______________
Q&A
What exactly is wrong?
I have bad tendinitis and degeneration of the bones around my joint, including the plantar bone. I also have a neuroma and two bursas, but they're not the trouble.
What exactly can I do about this to make it better?
Rest, ice, compression, anti-inflammatory medication and patience. Physical therapy would do nothing. Cortisone would be harmful because it would weaken an already weak area.
Have I made any progress, because it feels the same?
Yes - the inflammation is down a lot.
What exactly is going to get better? Degenerated bone doesn't sound like something that's going to regenerate?
Yes, it will. That's what the compression is for and why I have to keep icing. When there is inflammation, the compression can't work. So ice to reduce inflammation and then hope the binding encourages growth. He kept telling me all the professional athletes use Coban. This did not make me feel better.
Can I run the marathon?
Maybe. It depends. You have to be patient.
Can I run now?
He said I can run, but not long distances and not on consecutive days, and that I must ice for 20 minutes immediately after running and continue through the day when I'm not running. I said I needed him to quantify "long distance" but he wouldn't, he just kept saying, "Are you going to do what I tell you to?" and giving me that look - very paternal and nurturing - like he wanted to say something but he was stopping himself because he didn't think he should. I almost had the feeling he wanted to give me a hug.
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