I'm in research and preparation mode... For a girl who doesn't even have a primary care physician, I'm seeing a lot of doctors these days! This time, it was Dr. Jordan Metzl of the Hospital for Special Surgery, who is a bit famous in the field of sports medicine.
I don't have an injury, thankfully, but I do have low-grade aches and pains, and was concerned I might be running on some arthritis, misalignment or other structural problem I should know about and compensate for. In the last 10 years I've watched my mother start to fall apart - a broken hip, a replaced hip, a spinal laminectomy and fusing, sciatica pain, neuropathy, and so on... I see her in pain and I sometimes get sympathetic hurts. Are they purely sympathetic, or am I actually beginning to degenerate? I've been secretly fearing the latter. I wanted to see someone who could tell me the truth.
Metzl is the kind of doctor you wish you had for every single medical problem that might ever come up. He's aggressive but cheerful, and positively amped! Before coming in to consult with me, he'd clearly taken the time to have read my chart - you know the questionnaire you fill out before you see a new doctor? Do you suffer from acid reflux, get night sweats, have gas? All kinds of data points that seem irrelevant to whatever you came in for - and even more irrelevant when the doctor finally meets you and doesn't even know your name. Not Metzl. He hadn't missed a single scribble.
So, I told the doctor why I was there, and he promptly gave me the first of many high-fives! He is an athlete's advocate and we share the same values about health, injury prevention, and an enthusiasm for active living. We also, it turns out, share a (charming?) propensity for self-promotion... He said to me, "I have a website. You can sign up and get information." I replied, "I have a blog. You can follow me." Pause. He replies, "Oh, lots of my patients write about running." I was deflated, "Oh, you mean I'm not original?" "Oh yes, you are very unique. Are you... do you... is someone..." I helped him out, "Do you mean, do I have a sponsor? " He blinked a yes. "No...I don't. Not yet!" What a dance of the egos! I was loving it! And by the way, he totally wins because within an hour of my having left his office, I received an email from Dr. Metzl himself, telling me he'd gone and signed me up to his website! Waiting for you to follow me, Dr. Metzl...!
There was great news on almost every front. My body's in perfect condition. My bones are aligned and just fine. The weakness I feel is all about lacking core strength, not about anything structural. I have no arthritis or hairline fractures at all, and my joints are looking dandy. The doctor gave me the names of two women who can support me - one, a running trainer, who will help me with form; and two, a running nutritionist, who will answer my mountain of questions like, "Why do I get nauseous? What supplements should I be taking? How do I need to be eating?" and so on... I asked the doctor why I can't breathe through my nose when I'm running and he said, emphatically, "Forget about it! Just breathe through your mouth. It doesn't make a difference at all!" So easy. Done! He also said to me that it was good I was training over a whole year - that if I'd come to him with 6 months to train he would have told me I couldn't do it; but a year, yes, with proper guidance that is going to be possible.
I have my 5 mile race tomorrow at 8am. It will be my 39th birthday and I thought starting it off with a race would be a healthy thing to do, and symbolic of the journey I'm making this year. It will be my first "qualifying" race, which means my time is official, and the race accrues against the number I'll need to gain entry to the 2011 (yes, that's next-next year!) Marathon. Tonight I went and picked up my race number and chip at the NYRR headquarters on 89th Street just off Fifth Ave. The place was teaming with "athletic" types who intimidated the crap out of me. Some of them were literally wearing running gear! I felt positively fluffy in my big black wool pea coat.
I've spent the last few days experiencing massive pangs of panic about this race... and I'm embarrassed to say, I've considered not doing it. I've been sick. I haven't been sleeping much. It's so cold in NYC. What if I can't do 5 miles again - this time outside, on a hilly course? If I do poorly, will it bring me down emotionally - and on my birthday? Will I get demotivated about running the Marathon?
I reminded myself that I felt exactly this way before the Turkey Trot, and I got through it. I also feel this way 50% of the time I even head down to the gym and fire up the treadmill! I hate to run! Ah... it feels better just to say it! I HATE TO RUN! Why am I doing something that brings me such grief? (Don't answer that. I'm just having a moment.) I just have to tell myself that if I do bomb out tomorrow, it'll be good material for writing, and it won't be the end of the world, and it doesn't mean I'm allowed to stop training for the Marathon, either... I've got perfect health and lovely bones. Forward march.
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