80: Cloud Illusions

There's good news and bad news. First the good news. The doctor said I'll be able to run the marathon. The bad news is - he won't let me run for another two weeks, and then "we'll see."

I complained that if I lose two more weeks of training, I don't know how I'll be ready to run the marathon. He said, "Listen, I rehabilitate Ultra athletes. I know what I'm doing. You can't run on this foot. But you will run the marathon."

I said that was precisely the point. I am not an Ultra runner. I'm a novice who has been working very hard, but I don't have a base built up that I can just take what will amount to two months off, and then go run 26.2 miles. I don't think I'm exaggerating about this. There's a fine line between being enthusiastic and positive - and being deluded.

He told me not to worry. I am worried. This is not the news I was hoping for, or frankly expecting to get. After my appointment I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I have prescription strength Motrin to take for 21 days to accelerate the reduction of the inflammation and I'm to keep wrapping and icing the foot. That's all I can do for now.

I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I feel my dream drifting away on a cloud of disappointment. I can only hope that this cloud has another side, one with rows and flows of angel hair... and that maybe, I really don't know clouds at all.