I've been uneasy following last week's half marathon disaster. I've never not pulled it out before. I know "why" it happened, but that doesn't stop me from feeling bad about it, and worried that the same thing will happen when I try for 20 by myself on Sunday.
This has been one of those weeks when I really just wanted to look for an escape hatch. Too much pressure. Too much work. Too many family responsibilities, coupled with travel, and a cold. I couldn't do it all and I'm not used to that. I didn't like it.
Now, it's the weekend, and all I want to do is get in the car and drive to the countryside by myself, check into a B&B in some awesome place in the Berkshires, and do absolutely nothing. No blogging. No email. No presentations. No bills. I wouldn't even bring a suitcase with me - so sick of suitcases.
I'd wear sweatpants and a hoodie, and stash a jog bra in trunk in case I felt like running; but I wouldn't plan on running. NO AGENDA. Just me, the turning leaves, and a bag of marshmallows to roast on some campfire with a bunch of hippies singing, "And the seasons, they go round and round... and the painted ponies go up and down..."
I have forgotten how to breathe. Must find my way again before Monday. Serenity now!
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