12: Running With The Green Wave

Less than two weeks to go... My mind's starting to go between "numb" and "overdrive." I'm telling myself it's just 7 miserable hours. I can try my best for 7 hours. Women are in labor for much longer than that, cracking open, and they survive.

Big milestone today. I got my "wave" which determines where you go to start the race. I'm in the Green Wave. And I start at 10:40AM. That doesn't mean I actually start at 10:40. It means they intend for my group to start at 10:40, which means I could start any time after that - 10:40 is the last wave. This makes it hard to tell people when I'll be where along the route. I will have to try to map out a plan though.

This is my fantasy of how it's going to go. I would like to work on this and revise it a little before Nov 7th, though, because it's pretty scary:

Miles 1-2: running a little too fast, excited, no need to walk
Mile 3: empowered, no stopping, feeling strong, wishing the sun weren't so strong
Miles 4-8: running with a one minute walk break between every mile, ugh feeling a little bit spent, foot hurting
Miles 9-12: steady, in a groove, not so bad... endorphins are good, I can't feel my foot, this is the zone! yes!
Miles 13-16: hard... how the fuck am I going to finish this!? starting to see people... wanting to look good on 1st Ave...
Miles 17-21: oh holy hell i can't do this I'm walking half the time and all these people are looking at me, drinking, stopping to pee, stretching, considering stopping, the crowds going home, the street a dirty mess with cups and gels and trash, i am going to come in last, omg I can't believe some people are still standing here waiting for me - meanwhile 50% of the runners are home already in their ice baths and I'm the slow schmuck who didn't train enough, or just "can't" and... wait a minute! remember: this is a privilege! 5.2 more to go...
Miles 22-26.2: someone else in my body dragging my bloody stumps downtown and around the bend to the finish, so hard my brain can't compute, thoughts become deluded, i am flying on a magic carpet, there isn't anyone behind me, I am actually the last person to finish the marathon this year only I'm so late they have shut down the finish line and my race doesn't even count.

I've got to work on this because if I've learned one thing in my life it is, be careful what you envision because it always - and I mean ALWAYS - comes true.