Thursday, February 4, 2010

Day 96: Tight Pants

My new size 10 Petite J. Crew fully lined wool gabardine pants arrived in the mail and I wore them to work today. It felt so good to have tight pants on again! I'm sorry if that sounds lewd but, you have to remember, for me, tight pants = familiar. Loose pants = unfamiliar. If I ever get down to a really small size, I suppose I'll have to pour myself into $20 hot pants from Forever 21 to feel like my old self.

Wouldn't it be funny if I were to do all this work to get fit and then find out I have bad fashion taste? Here I've been dressing conservatively for years, because black tailored A-line clothing is most flattering; but what if it turns out that really, at heart, I'm a freak and I actually prefer to look a little bit trashy! It's very possible.

I was in Saks Fifth Avenue shopping with my friend Amy last weekend and as we passed the fur salon, my eye hit a (brace yourself) short red and black horizontally striped fur jacket. It was about $6,000. I said to Amy, who has known me since 3rd grade, "I want that!" and she said she could totally see me wearing it with skinny jeans and some obnoxiously high heeled black boots. Amy's a banker, and the classiest dresser I know, but she really knows me and I suppose has seen the striped fur jacket in me all along, even though of course I've never had one or anything like it! Bless her heart for sticking with me.

For me, the most powerful benefit of running has been the gift of surprise. At every turn I am surprised by what I see myself doing. Major, long-standing conceptions about myself have been shattered... No promises now, but who knows - maybe one day I'll even get to the point where I favor loose pants.

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