I just hit a new milestone and I'm elated! I ran straight for one full hour - for a total of 5 miles! I can't believe it. Before this, the farthest I've ever run without having to stop and tie my shoelace or just walk for a minute and catch my breath, was 3 miles.
This is going to sound strange, but I've always wanted to know I could run for an hour straight if I needed to. It makes me feel like I could be useful in an emergency. I like to be useful. This feels better than any other accomplishment I've had so far. It feels better than having run 10 miles, even. I know in my heart now, I can run!
I did everything different tonight. I always listen to music when I run, but tonight I had Sun Tsu's "The Art of War" on the iPod. I've read it before but downloaded it because I sensed recently I was falling into a defensive position in some places in my life and wanted a reminder about why it's essential to be on the offense. Playing defense is just handing the game over. Might as well not even bother to march the troops out.
So I had that, and I had a new running strategy. I've been reading DoctorMama's blog and she said when you're training you should run as slowly as you possibly can... She doesn't really say why but I figured I'd check it out. Whoa! Slow is so hard now. I could feel every single muscle in my legs - muscles I haven't felt since November! It was like starting all over again - except that my fitness level is better so I had enough oxygen, and my posture wasn't terrible, and my mind was in charge making me keep going... and going... and going.
When I'd finished 3 miles, I realized the error of my ways. I'd run for too long at a slow speed and now there literally wasn't enough time for me to finish my 5 miles in an hour. You only have the treadmill for 60 mins during rush hour at the gym. Crap! What to do. Well, I cranked the thing up and decided to try to chase the full 5 - at warp speed - whatever it took. By the time I hit 4.6 miles I was dying to take a break. Dying!! But if I did, I did the math, I wouldn't make it. So, I kept going...
I played some seriously aggressive mind games with myself... all with Sun Tsu playing in the background giving tips on which side of the mountain to set camp up on, and why not to let the men sleep on boggy marshes, and how critical it is when you're attacking your enemy by a river, to let half his troops cross first! I heard some of it and some of it got drowned out by my internal dialog about being tired and not getting enough air and what's for dinner?
Sun Tsu talks about breaking big tasks up into smaller tasks, and using the same psychology on everything. He gives very specific directions and it's sometimes hard to believe he's talking about real war - and not modern society, or the work place, or maybe even running! Human politicking I guess doesn't change much over time, or from context to context. And it's certainly at play for me when I'm out there trying to figure this whole sport out and all the parts of myself are in conflict, some wanting to stop and others wanting to go.
In the end I made it with 22 seconds left before the turn of the hour. I pushed myself very hard to accomplish my goal. I had all my Generals focused and driving their battalions to the front line - single minded, explosive, and ready to sacrifice for me. They listened to their Commander in Chief tonight - and together we won our most important battle yet!
HOORAY!
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