Today's a day of rest and frankly, I'm glad because I needed a little space. I feel like running has taken over my life! When I'm not running, I'm writing about running, or reading about running, or eating for running, or shopping for clothes and gadgets for running.
All the new people I meet also seem to be runners. This past weekend I missed a friend's birthday party and she got in touch with me afterwards to check in. She didn't say she was sorry she hadn't seen me; she said she was sorry I hadn't made it because she'd invited a few running friends she'd wanted me to meet! Even the guys I go out with all seem to be runners. I put the word Marathon in my dating profile name and suddenly, a new crop of candidates has surfaced. They bring me flowers and running books! One gave me a pair of shoelaces. Another encouraged me to change my body type to Athletic/Fit on my profile. Really? I didn't think that was representing myself fairly but he assured me it was.
Even at work, it's gotten maybe a little out of control. Yesterday, a senior person came by my desk and said "I heard you just ran 9 miles!" Um, how? I started babbling about how I'm fine when it's flat but I always walk the hills. As the words nervously poured out of me I thought, what is this saying about me professionally? Sanders can't handle a challenge!? Didn't seem like he heard it that way, though. He proceeded to give me advice on what posture to use when I'm running up hill. Lean in on an angle, pull your arms up tight to your body and keep your head down. He acted it out... He and his wife once ran a Half and... blah, blah. I don't think this person had spoken 5 words to me before!
The support is, of course, wonderful. I mean, really, really wonderful. It's the only thing keeping me going some days. All this focus on running though makes me wonder what ever was I talking about and doing before!? Obviously, something I don't do now; but strangely, I'm not feeling a void anywhere.
I think the truth of it is, I was working, and I was talking about work when I wasn't working. I used to work 12+ hours a day. For real. And now, I only work 9. So, have I just swapped my obsession with work for an obsession with running? "Obsession" doesn't sound healthy. Or is running an "OK" way to fill my time, noble and productive? It feels like it's OK, but I do have to wonder about my attachment and dedication to something that you know I really do still hate to do. Is there something wrong with me that I haven't let myself get familiar with prime time programming? And that I'm still "too busy" to meditate regularly. My laundry piles up. I haven't opened my mail in 2 weeks even though I know there's a check in there. And sleep? I love to sleep... 9 hours or more a night to feel my best; but I'm still only managing to get 6 or 7, and that's when I'm not hit with insomnia.
I don't know. Maybe running has become an addiction. I was hoping this would happen.
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