104: Crash!

I've been sitting here in my apartment wondering what to do. I planned to run 10 miles today but I lack the energy and my injured dog is barking something awful. I was out all night last night, dancing in high heels; and that pretty much pushed me over the edge. Sometime around 4AM I looked down at that egg and cheese biscuit in my hand and realized, time to go home.

I'd call myself out if I thought skipping my long run today were resistance manifesting, but, I don't. I think I'm reasonably exhausted from nearly two straight weeks of traveling for work and sleeping no more than 5 hours a night - and just 3 hours last night - before having to wake, shower, and put on a show every day. I managed to run 16 miles this week. That was no small feat. I'm pretty impressed with myself for that! And, it doesn't help that it's hot and raining back here in NYC right now and I'd have to do tonight's long run indoors in my crowded gym that closes at 8PM.

Enough is enough. I'm going to soberly put my health and well being first immediately, since I can. I need to have a night when I take my makeup off completely before bed, and sleep for 9 hours, and am not interrupted by flocks of party people weaving through the hall, or tuba notes blowing up from the street.

I'm worried of course that I'll fall behind, but, as I see it, there really isn't a choice. All I'm capable of right now is unpacking, maybe doing some laundry, and ordering in Chinese. I always feel the urge to order Chinese, or maybe Zen Palate, when I'm exhausted beyond comprehension. Chinese, on the sofa, watching TV, and doing nothing else. Such a happy and restorative dream... Can I go there tonight? Really? Really, I can?

It's not like I'm planning to keep slacking. I've already laid my clothes out for tomorrow's two workouts. I'll be doing JolynnSati with a guest pass at Equinox at 6:30AM, after which I'll use the treadmill to run my two miles assigned by Training Peaks. I still haven't decided which training program I'm going to follow religiously over the next three months. Two have started already, one starts next week, and the fourth the week after. Kind of stressed about this decision, still. Maybe I'll meditate on it tomorrow.