Day 174: Say My Name!

There's suddenly the matter of my name, again. The year I was born, Michelle was the #4 most popular name for a newborn baby girl in the US. There were 5 of us in my middle school class of 110, two of whom were in my best friend circle. My college roommate was yet another Michele. I've been in two weddings where the bride was named Michelle or Michele. In short, I never identified much with my name because it felt quite ubiquitous.

Over the years, I've picked up a number of nicknames. As a kid, I was mostly just Michellesanders - first and last name said together as if they were just one long name. All the Michelles were like that because none of us had proper nicknames that the teachers or our parents would call us by. So we were Michellekline, Micheledamiano, Michellebrill, Micheleirosi... We had little pet names we'd call each other, but they were mostly variations on Michelle, like Mich, Mush or Michka.

In college, for four solid years, everyone including professors called me Chelle (Shelly). It all started when my freshman year roommate Erin, who was a California girl, thought that Michelle was boring and didn't suit me. I rolled with it - never having been too attached to my given moniker anyway. I didn't like college much so in a weird way, being somebody else while I was there, made me feel less bad about wasting so much money and time on an ill conceived commitment.

After college, I lived in LA with high school friends so I went back to being Michelle. At my job in Hollywood, everyone started calling me "M." A few friends still call me M and I often sign things with just an M. Then came the Mimi years. My best friend in my late 20s was dating and eventually married a French man who dubbed me Mimi. I loved it! Finally, a nickname with pizazz! You see, I was named after my grandmother Mollie, and always wished my parents had just gone with that instead of watering me down to a more "normal," sanitized name that didn't sound ethnic or cutesy. My mother also always told me, "I couldn't imagine yelling at you and saying, 'Now! Put that down, Mollie!' because I'd feel like I was yelling at my mother." Isn't it interesting that she was envisioning yelling at me even before I was born! Anyway, her fear got me stuck with what she thought was the vanilla, Americanized version of Mollie. Not sure I get it but... that's what happened.

Since I didn't hate it, the nickname Mimi lasted quite a few years. I can't even remember how it got retired - probably a combination of drifting from the friend with the French husband, and breaking up with a boyfriend who had particularly liked it. But anyway, I've been just Michelle or M now for about 6 years, and I've been learning to appreciate and connect with Michelle for really the first time. There aren't any other Michelles at my job right now either, so for once, I get to own it! Now and again I'll say my name is Mimi when I am at Starbucks or something, just to hear it roll off my tongue and know I could go back at any time. But I often think for a flash when I'm at the register of giving some other totally random name, just to see if I could pull another quick change off. What would I choose next? Do other people think about how their own name effects their lives? I do - all the time.

So, with the Half Marathon coming up, a friend reminded me I could write my name on my shirt, and people would call it out to me as I went by. I asked another running friend who has run 9 Marathons and completed countless triathlons how I should do this (hesitant to write on my nice shirt with a Sharpie!) and she gave me some suggestions (masking tape - but if it's wet out, which it probably will be, that won't work - so I may have to figure something out with duct tape or iron ons!) and I said oh great, I hope I can fit "Michelle" on there! And she said, no - I shouldn't write my first name, because then I wouldn't be able to differentiate my friends' cheering from general crowd cheering - that I would keep looking for friends every time I heard my name called! Hmm... I'm not going to have THAT many friends on the side lines. I don't want to miss anyone!

So, what name should I put on my shirt, then? I could put my last name. Or one of my nick names from the past... or I could pick something entirely new. Like people have a poker name, or a stripper name, maybe I need a running name! I mean, Beyonce is Sasha Fierce when she goes out there on the stage to perform. Why can't I have a running name?

I'm really not sure yet but whatever I write on there, probably just "Michelle," I hope people yell it out for me the whole way through. It's supposed to rain on Sunday, and be cold. Even with my solid training and conviction, I'm going to need all the encouragement I can get. So if you see me out there, please - as loud as you can, say my name!