I never thought I'd talk about this in any kind of public forum. Not because it's embarrassing, or incriminating, but because I've typically downplayed it to myself, so why now would anyone else care? But maybe it's important for you to know.
I've got an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto's which - without getting into the mechanics of it - makes my body act like it's hypothyroid. It's estimated that 3-5% of the population has Hashimoto's, so more than likely, you know someone else who has it too; or, maybe you have it.
Anyway, it's got a set of "constraints" that come with it and I'm here to say, fuck that. It's nothing you can't get past if you want to. It isn't contagious, but you also can't be cured of Hashimoto's. All you can do - and must do - is take a pill every day for the rest of your life. If you do that, you won't die. But you also may have other symptoms such as difficulty (near impossibility) losing weight.
I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 29. For years, I was complaining to doctor after doctor that I was dieting and exercising, but couldn't lose weight, and that I was so tired. They tested me over and over for Mono, but nothing else. Of course, I was working long hours, partying like a rock star, and indulging in late nights so... kind of hard to say exactly where Hashimoto's was to blame, and where my lifestyle might have been the culprit. But I remember the moment I realized it wasn't all the latter.
It was a hot summer eve and I was out for drinks with the ad sales director for GQ magazine at some swanky rooftop bar. He was wooing me. He wanted me to spend half a million on 4th covers. Such was my every lunch and dinner at one time in my life... a string of steaks, lobster salads, and Tanquery No. TEN and tonics. Perhaps I romanticize it a bit now but isn't that the luxury allowed with the passing of time?
So there we were, bubbling over with gossip and flattery, partying for free on someone's generous expense account. We should have been having the time of our lives; but instead, I felt like my head was going to fall into a chemical stupor. I could barely hold my martini glass. I drooped unfashionably. The sales guy who knew me well looked at me and proclaimed, "Girl! Something's wrong with you!" as if to snap me back into style! But I simply couldn't. The next day I went to my doctor and demanded a broad spectrum blood test that eventually revealed the issue.
I was immediately put on a high dose of Synthroid, and spent months going back for blood tests to try to figure out the right level. The news came as a relief on one hand, there was a problem and we were going to fix it. But on the other hand, finding out I had an autoimmune disease was scary. I've always liked the idea of needing nothing - and knowing I could survive on a deserted island indefinitely if I got stranded there; but now I had to face the fact that I would die on an island without my Synthroid. I'd just fall asleep while cracking open coconuts one afternoon and burn to a crisp in the blazing sun!
So, a decade after my diagnosis, I don't think a thing of it. I go for a blood test every 3-6 months and take a pill every morning. My doctor has always encouraged me to exercise regularly as a way to boost my metabolism, "...if only marginally," she'd say, which wasn't very encouraging. I just kind of accepted my energy level where it was - pretty good, and that my immunity was a bit fragile. I'm allowed to get things like flu and swine flu shots with the old and pregnant folks! See, there are upsides to this thing!
When I started running, it wasn't at all about losing weight, or overcoming a symptom of Hashimoto's. It was simply about understanding this peculiar sport. Along the way, I've gotten physically stronger, lost weight, and I also notice - I've improved my immune system. Every year around this time, in the past, I've been leveled for at least a month by debilitating allergies. I've taken pills, gone for shots twice a week, used inhalers... I've tried everything. The one thing I didn't try was running right through the Park, past the flower blossoms, fresh cut grass, dust and insects. Turns out the fastest way to defeat the enemy is to run right into his camp!
Hashimoto's doesn't define me as a person, or as a runner, but as a person with this particular disease, I must tell you - running has helped me immeasurably, and most unexpectedly. If this is something you or someone you love has been diagnosed with, running shoes might be something to consider.
No comments:
Post a Comment