Day 168: 3M with Closet Purge

I almost didn’t run today because I am still feeling sensitive from my big fall Thursday night. Instead, I spent the day cleaning my closets and hanging with a friend. But by late afternoon, I started feeling guilty about deviating from my training schedule, and so I headed down to the gym, hopeful I'd manage 4M.

Instead, I managed 3M, in 36:56, at a 12:19 pace, and it was so hard. I was tired and bored, and everything hurt. I stopped and stretched things a few times along the way but mostly, the experience just scared me even more for the Half Marathon next weekend. Maybe I’m really not ready. What has possessed me to take this ridiculous challenge on! I'm not an athlete. I'm an exhausted, pathetic blob! Wah...

Oh, right. I'm not. I'm just having a moment. And the reason to run isn't the running, anyway; it's the after running part that makes it all worthwhile - the balance, the fitness, the lessons. Sorry - I've snapped back into place now. I mean, even today’s closet-cleaning mission wouldn't have been what it was if not for running. Most springs, my closet cleaning amounts to nothing more than a closet swap. I move the woolens to my mom’s house for a few months, and cart the cottons out for a showing. But this year, in line with my reevaluation of basically everything, closet-cleaning went well below the surface...

There was heavy scrutiny of every single thing hanging, folded, or balled up there. I started on the left and moved straight through to the right, examining each garment. If I’m going to wrap my body in it now, it’s got to reflect something about the “me” underneath. Here’s how decisions were made:

BASIC BATCHING
All running gear: exempt from purge
Anything size XL/14+: gone (see “HUGE” for exception)
Anything size M/L/8/10/12: subjected to an all-points analysis (see below)
Anything size XS/S/4/6: subjected to all-points analysis and then put in holding section of closet for future wear

POINTS SYSTEM
Sentimental value: add 1 point
Sentimental value but over 10 years old: eliminate, unless could be sold on eBay as 80s costume
Anything solid black in color: one point off
Solid black but faded: eliminate immediately
Large pattern: one point off
Small pattern: one point off
Plaid: if communicates “farmer,” eliminate; if communicates “lesbian chic,” one point off; if communicates, “I party in Williamsburg,” keep. (Even though I don’t party in Williamsburg.)
Has a hole in it: eliminate, unless sentimental value
Hole in crotch: eliminate, regardless of sentimental value
Has shoulder pads sewn in: eliminate!
Double breasted: eliminate
Unflattering color: eliminate
Boxy: eliminate
Pilled: attempt to use shaver thing but if takes more than 3 minutes, eliminate
Unlined: one point off
If HUGE: consider keeping for fantasy “comfort” weekend wear
Fabric shining from over-dry cleaning: eliminate
Borrowed from someone: if nice ex-boyfriend’s item of clothing, keep; if bad ex-boyfriend’s item of clothing burn in hot furnace; if appropriated from friend, ask if it should be returned and, if not, release to the universe
Outfits my mother has complimented: eliminate
Skirts that are too short: add a point!
Plastic pants: eliminate (don’t ask…)
Pants and shorts that produce camel toe: eliminate
Skorts, overalls, and culottes: eliminate, unless true vintage, then sell on eBay
Anything made by “Theory”: add a point
Turtle necks: bag and put away for next year – will decide later
Socks that look dirty, despite being clean: eliminate
Underwear that isn’t flattering, fancy or functional: eliminate
T-shirts: with brand logo, men’s silhouette, or too large – one point off; if armpit stains, cut neck (a la 1989 “Flashdancer”), or advertising something rude – (a la Colgate T-shirt that reads “Now and then we all need a good pump!” …Oh gawd, did I really wear that in public?) – eliminate; sentimental value, running trophy or purchased in last year – keep
Anything stained: if yellow, brown or red stains – eliminate; if green, blue, purple, orange or pink stains – take one point off
Washed when it should have been dry cleaned, and is now puckered: eliminate
Needs to be ironed right now: eliminate

TALLY IT UP
So, items with fewer than zero points were then eliminated and put in a pile for Housingworks. Items with zero or more points, kept. And this leaves me with exactly one pair of pants, three short skirts, four Theory T-shirts with holes in them, and a 25 year old skort, which I’m going to try to sell on eBay.

Getting dressed for work on Monday morning is going to be interesting. Thank goodness I have my running clothes. Nothing says "ready to do business" like compression shorts and a terry cloth headband.