I met a man today in the 7000s corral (see photo). He said in his life he'd run 10 marathons and to date the most memorable moment of his running career was during his first NYC Marathon when he was crossing the Brooklyn Bridge. It was pretty early on in the race and he was tired already and feeling overwhelmed by all the people and the circumstances. Then he looked up on the bridge and saw a huge sign that said, "Finishing is Winning!" and that put it all into context and he found the courage and inspiration to go on.
I took that sentiment with me today when I ran. It was hot and horrible out there. I ran way too fast for me in the first mile (10:37 pace) and then had to walk on and off for the rest of the race. I thought about quitting almost non-stop. I simply could not stay in the zone. I felt nauseous and had to walk. I had strange cramps, which I never get, and had to run with my arms over my head. My shoes were too loose. All my good socks were dirty so I wore thin cotton ones and that felt weird.
So, you wanna know how bad-bad-bad it was? I'll tell you. I ran an average 11:39 pace. That was my 5 mile pace back in January. Exactly. Five and a half months later, I'm running the same pace. Now, tell me that doesn't depress you! Heat or no heat.
Running again tomorrow. I hope I'll make a comeback though I am certainly not expecting it. I ran as fast as I possibly could today. In every moment I did my best. What would make tomorrow different? I guess we'll see. I am not giving up. I've got to push though this phase. The joy of feeling progress shall be mine again!
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