Today my cross training continued with intenSati. I was invited by my dear friend Jolynn Baca to take a class she was teaching down at Equinox on 19th Street. IntenSati, for anyone who doesn't know, is basically a high impact aerobics class, combined with lunges, punching, air drum-beating, yoga poses, and self-affirmations which you scream out loud, on command, military style, throughout the workout. It's freaking insane! ...And it's amazing.
Exercise guru Patricia Moreno designed the program and a number of my friends are devotees. At the start of each class, the instructor shares something inspirational with the students. I didn't know this before today, since it was my first time, so imagine my surprise when Jolynn opened up to the crowd of more than 40 students with a story about... me!
As background, in order to be certified to teach this course, Jolynn had had to mentor someone for a month - someone who would be willing to set a goal, and then take measurable steps towards achieving that goal. Jolynn made me her test bunny and my goal was to "move more" every day. This was about 6 months ago. We kept my goal really vague because at the time I was still in my miserably oppressive job where I simply wasn't leaving the office before 10 PM any night. Going to the gym was not an option. So my goal was just to "move more" whenever I could.
Because I couldn't carve out a lunch, or leave at a decent hour, the answer was to just walk home from the office no matter what time I got out. I'd text Jolynn at 10:30 PM to report in, "I'm moving!" I'd be in the airport and not take the people mover, "I'm moving," or walk home with heavy groceries on the weekend, "Doin' it!" At the end of the month, I'd built up a real appetite for my blocks of moderate exercise. I had new thoughts when I was out there on the open road (actually, Park Avenue, and then a left on 57th Street). When I stopped, I noticed I really missed it.
The whole experience gave me a tiny taste of the happiness I was missing so chronically in the rest of my life - a reminder that I wasn't living in a balanced way - that I was naturally a very active person, and always had been - but had bent over WAY too far this time for my career.
I decided that the only way to make space in my life would be to extricate entirely from my suffocating job. Very Western of me, I know; but in this case trust me - definitely the right decision! Cut the tumor out!
So, I set that intention, found a new job, and today I am starting to remember who I am. I feel alive again... almost giddy. Running the Marathon came up as an unexpected wild card dream - because someone inspired me. I encourage you to be open to your own dreams. Notice the old ones, and keep a look out for the new ones that may be budding... New dreams will teach you about who you are and how you're growing; because even when it feels like life's been moving backwards, or the space for dreams has been usurped by work, family, and a million tiny burdens, I assure you that your dream-making capacity isn't dead. It's just dormant... Please revive.
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