Day 61: Messy Finish (4M in 1:01:21)

Well, I'm a hot mess right now. It's New Year's Eve and they decided to close the gym in my building at 2pm today, which I didn't realize until 4pm; so I had no choice but to run outside in Central Park. It's freezing and wet out there, so I bundled myself up and covered my face with a layer of Aquaphor for some reason. I was thinking of swimmers crossing the English Channel. I didn't want to get chapped (or bitten by jellyfish)! I tell you - I have no idea what I'm doing. If you are a novice, do not listen to me!

This was my first time in Central Park in a month. I started strong and felt elated as I whizzed past the old Stretching Bridge without needing to stop, and then the Magic Tree. I was surprised to hear the lady on Nike+ tell me my pace was well below a 10 minute mile. Victory! But not for long.

By the time I reached the end of my first mile, I was over-heating and sweating through my three layers: primary layer for wicking, fleece, and then a shell, plus hat and gloves. I unzipped everything that could be unzipped. The sweat still dripped. I was dying. I pulled my hat up and my gloves off... Eventually, I had to fully stop running and take my first two layers off.

I hung my two jackets around my waist but they slid off. I had to stop again. I hung the fleece (purple and very fuzzy) around my neck and put the shell back on and just zipped it to keep it from falling off. The fleece spun around my neck as I went. It was wet from sweat; everything was wet. A blister formed on my left foot. My hat was drenched and I started to feel both hot and cold at the same time, and like a fever (not an artificial fever - a real one!) was coming on. But I kept going.

Mind over body, I kept telling myself. Then I accidentally stomped in a puddle and my right shoe filled with dirty water. It was dark by 4:30pm. The only other times I've been in the Park at night have been at the Boat House for parties or drinks. It was so beautiful and exciting by Bethesda Fountain tonight, with snow on the branches of Willow Path. Still, as I ran, I kept an eye out for Robert Chambers hiding in the bushes, as well as the more likely interruption... piles of horse manure from the carriages. There were lots of people still out and running along the path with me. Workers were setting up for tonight's Emerald Nuts fun run at midnight. There was nothing to really worry about - but still running in the dark, in the Park, felt a little dangerous.

I thought mile four would never come, and when it did, I did not get a burst of energy to push forward. I felt wet, exhausted, stiff and frustrated with my performance. I was already at 50 minutes and was never going to match or beat my previous times. I had to walk a lot. I was coughing and spitting (in a very ladylike way, I assure you). I'd brought water and drank the whole bottle.

In the end, I finished the four miles in 1:01:21 at a pace of 15:19 mph (including the times I'd had to fully stop to adjust my clothes). I'm not sure if I can trust the Nike+ tracking system though because it told me I'd completed four miles when I'd actually run the loop just a few meters short of three times, which would actually be 5.1 miles. So - maybe it isn't calibrating correctly? If I actually ran 5.1 miles in 1:01:21, well then that wouldn't be so damn bad! But, I just don't know...

What I do know is that it's been a challenging first two months. This wasn't a gorgeous end to the year, but it's OK. As long as I have a gorgeous process, I think I can cope with a messy finish. I am glad I am doing this. I still can't believe I'm doing this! I've lost 7 lbs since starting, and feel stronger and healthier. I'm excited to keep challenging myself and see just how far I can go.

2010 is going to be my year. I am going to live it to the fullest and do what I never thought of doing before AND what I always thought I should be doing. I'm going to find out what I'm really made of. (I have a hunch it's pretzel dough.) Meet you on the other side!

Day 60: Cocky on the Mic

I got a little *playful* flack yesterday about my ultra-fantastic day. Lost a pound... Easy run... Good times! It's all peppermint and incense in my world, isn't it? Well, I'd like to quote one of my favorite hip hop lyrics which I think is one of the most sincere lines in modern rap. It's from Nelly's song "Number 1." It starts with, "Now let me ask you man, what does it take to be # 1? 'Cause 2 is not a winner & 3 nobody remembers... I am #1..." and then at the end - he softens, "I'm cocky on the mike but I'm humble in real life." I listen to this one a lot while I'm running.

If I ever seem to be overly competitive, or boasting about a moment of success, I promise you, it's for entertainment value only; I am humble in real life. In fact I have a deep appreciation for my ability to even take running on - that I have a body and a life that allow me to enter into such a realm. I also feel gratitude for the support I'm getting from friends - which I didn't plan on, but makes such a big difference it surprises me. When people say they enjoy reading this, or that my process has made them think about what they want to challenge themselves to do, it's the greatest high I can imagine! Then finally there is the experience of achieving goals - many and frequently. This makes me feel alive again in a life I'd started to feel pretty dead in.

I do understand though about yesterday... People tune in to read a certain kind of story - one of determination in the face of obstacles. When there's no obstacle, and the wind is at my back, maybe my story loses some of its zip? You want "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and I've given you "Gidget." This blog's called "Michelle Hates to Run." I get it - it's supposed to be fiery, irreverent and (oh I do hope) eventually ironic! How dare I switch the tone on you!

Well, relax, because the cynicism is back on tap today! It's Day 60 and I woke up to find I'd not only regained that pound I lost yesterday, but added an additional half. See? A little time passes and a new challenge is but a page away... Patience!

Today is a day of rest so I won't get to test my running mettle again until tomorrow when I'll be going four miles. Oh boy! I can hardly wait! Honestly.

Day 59: Tipping Point?

I'm cautious to say this... but today was different. I woke up a pound lighter and running was easy. It's as if my body was suddenly possessed by some younger, fitter version of myself! Who am I? Have things tipped permanently? Lord, I hope so. I don't ever want to go back to where I was... yesterday.

I ran three miles in 33:10, which netted me a 10:38 mile! Yeah! This is by far my best time ever. I didn't walk at all; I just didn't need to. From the minute I got going, I was comfortable - I could have held a conversation. I didn't get overly red. No huffing. I still have to breathe through my mouth, though; I just can't get enough oxygen through my nose.

I have no idea what affected this change, but I do have a new gadget - and you know I love me my gadgets. I finally caved and bought a Nike+ digital running assistant for my iPod. The thing doesn't do the running for you, but it tracks your mileage and pace, and links back to the Nike website, where it drops your data into bar charts and line graphs. The site also offers coaching for various races, counts calories, counts days of training, and lets you link your data to friends' data so you can compete with them - or keep tabs on their sorry asses and make yourself feel better.

Nike Running is an Obsessive Compulsive's wet dream! I'm not OCD, unfortunately. I wish I were; my apartment would be a lot cleaner. I do, however, love tracking and quantifying. I've also signed up for the site's 28 week Marathon training program, which makes this whole process seem very, very real... I have 74 days until the Half Marathon! OMG. OMG. OMG. And then Marathon Training starts two days later - and ends on November 7, 2010 - race day.

What am I doing? Can I actually do this? I will be so embarrassed if I wimp out. What if my body hits a wall and I just can't go any more? Must stay positive. My #1 priority remains "avoiding injury" and my #2 priority is... well, I guess, just doing it.

Day 58: Moth to Flame

I hit the gym for an hour today to do stretching and strength training. Before I started, I decided it would be OK if I got on the treadmill for five minutes of walking, just to warm my body up; but once I was on there, I found - to my great surprise - that not only did I quickly put the pace up to 4.5 mph, but I was very reluctant to get off... Moth to flame! I only let myself go a half a mile because I do understand that the "day of rest" serves a purpose, and I didn't want to screw that up; but I really wanted to keep going.

Even after half a mile, I wasn't feeling the least bit tired. I could have held a conversation easily. I was completely comfortable. Now, I realize this is only a half a mile we are talking about; but when I think of where I've come from - that at the beginning of all this I couldn't even run for 100 feet comfortably - it makes me proud.

Tomorrow I have a 2-3 mile run to complete and I'm excited to see how it goes... 2-3 miles seems so short now that I've run 4 miles three times!

Day 57: (1+) 4 miles in 56:05

Today the schedule calls for my running four miles. I took 20 minutes to warm up first, walking and jogging a mile until my heart rate was up and my muscles were warm; then I stretched; and then I started the machine over again to begin my four miles of training. I jogged between 4.4-4.8 mph most of the first half, and then 5-5.5 mph the second, with a brief stint at 6 mph at the end. I tracked my resting heart rate before I began (62 bpm), after the warm up (80 bpm), during the first half of my run (146 bpm) and at the most intense parts towards the end (154). I never let myself get huffy - so I'd stay in that artificial fever as long as possible - and I never let myself cool down too much during walk breaks (at 3.5-3.8 mph).

After three miles, a jerky guy came into the gym and asked me if I was watching the TV. I said I was. He repeated the question, forcing me to take my focus off of running, and the TV, and breathing. I repeated my answer, yes, I'm watching - but he came over and took the remote from my treadmill anyway. I pulled my ear bud out and said, "I'm watching this!" as if he hadn't heard me the first two times. He wasn't even dressed for a workout; he was wearing a sweater, T-shirt and shorts! He said he was just going to use the remote to change the channel on the other TV and I had to explain, while running, that there's a separate remote for the other TV and if he hit the button on that remote it would... but it was too late. He'd turned my TV off, and I had inadvertently, in twisting around to address him, also hit the "emergency off" button on my own machine. Argh! I swore out loud and the sweater guy looked scared.

I had to try to remember what my time was when he'd rudely stepped on the scene, reset the clock, reset myself. I was super sweaty and challenged today and the 30 second break gave me just enough time to really consider calling it a day... My eyes were burning. How could I go another mile!? Could I count that warm-up mile towards the four? Would that be cheating? I thought of the 5 mile race I have coming up on Jan 9th, less than 2 weeks away, and decided I'd better carry on or I just wouldn't be ready for that. If I couldn't pull through four miles today, how would I do more - outdoors - just because it was being timed? I did four miles twice last weekend! Was Gordon's schedule ruining me!? Preparation is everything. Practice. Baby steps. Not - giving up. I decided to have faith in the program and go back on.

The last mile turned out to be the easiest. It always is! I ran faster, which I really do love it's just a matter of getting enough oxygen! I let myself strain more. I drank less. I glared out of the corner of my eye at the sweater guy who was watching football, walking on the treadmill at 3.0, blood rushing to his face. I wondered if he felt bad at all. Afterwards I stretched a lot and when I went to the elevator, he actually followed me and said sorry he'd broken my concentration. I forgave him and told him I was training for "something" and so that's why I'd been so intense about it. He nodded but didn't ask what. I had the feeling his wife had told him to get out of the apartment for a while and he'd had no idea where to go, and so he'd gone to the gym! Now here he was letting the ladies down left and right. Poor dude. Working out in a sweater.

Tomorrow is a day off but I plan to do stretching and strength training with my trusty gym rat log to guide me.

Day 56: Ice Storm

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When there's an ice storm, and the roads are too slick to go running, go skiing! That's what I did today with my 17 year old cousin Teddy despite the absolute worst weather either of us have ever gone out in! Ice, rain, freezing temps - nobody else was dumb enough to hit the slopes on a day like today so the one thing we didn't have to contend with was crowds. Properly layered and armed with my new sizzling hot flip video thingy (thank you Matt) to keep us amused, we had so much fun we didn't even stop for lunch. A former skateboarder, Ted cuts a fine form in the snow even though he's primarily a skier. I don't think you can be 17 and not board; I'm even tempted to try it - though my more burning interest at the moment is to try cross-country skiing. I tarried along at Teddy's pace, jetting ahead now and again to try to capture a hot dog trick or two; but I always seemed to miss it or screw up the record button. I have become my mother! Geeezus! The one thing I didn't miss, however, was Teddy's ability to talk on the phone the entire time he was going downhill. We'd be on sheer drops of ice, wet rain blowing up into our faces, but there was Ted, taking another call, hooking it up with friends back in Brooklyn. He stares down danger with confidence. He rides without a leash - illegal in some states I'd like to point out - and I don't think he wiped out once! Cool as a cucumber. Oh, to be 17. So, I got a bit of a workout in and muddled through what was actually supposed to be a "day off." Gordon wanted me to rest because tomorrow I have a big four mile run... forgive me Gord-o! I couldn't help myself. I hope I haven't sabotaged this whole thing. If I don't make it across that 13.1 mile mark on April 25th, I won't blame you.

Day 55: Country Roads

It's Christmas Day and, as planned, I was up with the roosters and running. I'm not sure exactly how far I went but later I'm going to take the car out and drive my route to find out. I listened to Vivaldi's Violin in A Minor for the first half of the run, and then had to switch out to a more contemporary play list to get through the up-hills on my return. Vivaldi didn't know nothing about fighting the fray... Prodigy, much better for shutting the yard down.

I ran for exactly an hour with walk breaks after the most brutal up-hills. It was alternatively misting and then threatening to snow, and balls of ice formed on my eyelashes - kind of fun to look through - like wearing big white fake eyelashes. I felt very transvestite. I passed quaint homes with wood burning fire smoke coiling out of brick chimneys, run-down shacks with front lawns littered with cars, sheep huddled in corrals, and barns adorned with Christmas wreaths.

Outside of one house, I was nearly attacked by a doberman pincher that liked the idea of chasing me, barking viciously, jaw hanging open, white teeth barred. I stopped in my tracks when I saw it, trying to figure out if you're supposed to stand still in a situation like this (same as with bears?), run, or fight back. I was too tired to run faster than the dog because I was heading up-hill and at the end of my run, so it was either stand still, or fight. Standing still felt like certain demise. I contemplated fighting. I adore dogs; how could I kick one, even one who clearly was fixated on making me its breakfast!

I imagined what my leg would look like if it got caught in the dog's angry choppers... training derailed... big scars detracting from pretty sun dresses in the summer... (Yes, all this went through my head in an instant!) Oh gosh! Bloody pulp! No! I decided to fight back. When the dog was an arm's length away, I took on an aggressive posture and exploded, "No! No! Bad dog! Go home!" and pointed violently at the house it had come from. It looked surprised and insulted! It paused for a second - locking eyes with me - I didn't back down - and then it turned and trotted back to where it had come from. Pepper mace. I'm going to get some.

After running I made a fabulous brunch for six; and now we're all just hanging out, drinking prosecco and doing our thing. There's a goose in the oven, roasting - yet another low-fat dinner to support my training! Oh well... It is the holidays, after all! Cheers, everyone.